Restoring the Joy in Marriage

I spoke in my last article about something I failed to surrender that led me to a fall. That something was my marriage.

Doubting His Desire

Our love life’s been lacking over the last few months. It’s led me to doubt my husband’s desire for me. That doubt feeds feelings of insecurity around my worthiness to be loved.

Taking Matters into My Own Hands

Rather than express this doubt to him, out of fear that it might upset him, I ended up taking matters into my own hands and seeking an unhealthy solution to the problem. I regretted it immediately afterward, but it made me realize that my failure to surrender this issue to Christ gave Satan something to use against me.

Jesus Speaks to Me through the Wedding Feast at Cana

I went to confession before Mass to set things right and prepared my heart to receive Christ. I found it not at all surprising to discover the day’s readings came from The Wedding Feast at Cana, found in John Chapter 2, verses 1-11. Jesus knew exactly what I needed to hear that day.

A Jewish wedding feast run out of wine foretold a marriage run dry of joy, since the wine symbolized joy in the Jewish culture. That’s why it carried so much weight that Mary took it upon herself to intervene when she noticed the distress of the servants.

She did precisely what I should have done and brought the matter to Jesus, surrendering it to Him, and telling the servants to, “Do whatever he tells you.” I took that reminder home with me, and then I asked Jesus, “But what are you telling me to do?”

Advice from 33 Days of Eucharistic Glory

As a Christmas present from our parish, St. Francis of Assisi in West Des Moines, Iowa, we received a book by Matthew Kelly entitled, “33 Days of Eucharistic Glory.” It’s an encouragement to engage in a consecration to the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist.

I picked up the book after Mass and dove into Day 17’s lesson: “Is Sacrifice the Answer?”

The passage described a beautiful practice engaged in by a small town in Bosnia named Siroki-Brijeg, a town with no recorded history of divorce. Every marriage in that town begins with a blessing of a crucifix the couple brings to the priest and a reminder to them, “You have found your cross, and it is a cross to be loved, to be carried, not to be thrown away, but to be cherished.”

The couple kiss the crucifix before they kiss one another, surrendering their marriage to Christ. They kiss the crucifix before bed and encourage their children to do likewise. Each kiss is a reminder of this one thing: love requires sacrifice.

“There is no love without sacrifice. Inject sacrifice into any relationship where love has evaporated and allow the fruits of Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross to breathe new life into that relationship. For so long we have all been looking for answers. Maybe sacrifice is the answer we have all been looking for but have refused to adopt.” – pg. 86

The Waters of Sacrifice Restore the Joy of Love

Putting the two together, it struck me. The servants filled those jars to the brim with water, as Jesus instructed. And they were rewarded with an abundance of wine, the best wine the head steward ever tasted.

Marriage is a vessel of love, and it can run dry. Sacrifice is the water that fills that vessel. When that sacrifice is then brought to Jesus, He can work the miracle of restoring the joy of love. And the love that will come after such a miracle will be the best and sweetest of all.