I want to peer deeper into the wall.

Dear Father,

Tonight as you gave us the news on the progress towards interior repairs of the church, I looked over at the patches on the walls where the plaster has been removed revealing bricks. In many places the mortar between the bricks is gone. I want to peer deeper into the wall. I take a peak in the cracks but only see darkness. For years I’ve walked by and touched these patches exposing the original brick walls. I always wondered, “what did they discover when they did this? And if it’s very bad how can it go so long without repair?

No money?” In my work with families at risk, I’ve been in homes with major electrical problems. One trailer had no running water and only one working electrical plug. I would have had to make a report to Child Protective Services after the baby was born but that was taken out of my hands. Another trailer (trailers are the worst) had every windows busted out. I referred to it sadly as a home of fly’s and fleas. Most of us don’t know what it’s like to be this poor, but I don’t think St. Charles is poor really. We’re probably a typical parish for this area. A typical parish of parishioners who pool together time and resources to help the poor of our community through church ministries.

It was surprising to hear you say that so many people ask you every week when the repairs will be started. I wonder if this is genuine concern or are the parishioners nagging you? There was a time when I was indifferent. Let someone else worry about things like church repairs. I would have tuned out money talk, but today I was right there with the spontaneous clapping at the good news of the grant and the upcoming study of what needs to be done. I was excited, but I thought, “It will happen when it happens.”

I lost my indifference some time ago. I look forward to the day we’ll actually begin renovation of our church.  I felt teary eyed when you said we want to fix our 150 year old church so it will be here for years to come. So it will be here for future generations long after we’re gone. I was emotional, happy and sad realizing how much I now care.

Last time I spoke to my spiritual director, I told him, a bit enthusiastically, the latest news on our church renovation.  He told me “you want to help your parish.” I answered “what I really want is to bring people to God.” He said, “That’s why you’re so happy the church will be repaired. You love your church. You love the people as well. I do love our church, my church. I love it so much. I love what it represents.

I was thinking about your great speech at the end of Mass when you gave us this good news but then I was concerned. Will anyone remember your significant and moving homily after these two important announcements?

When we got home I asked Wayne, “Did you hear the homily?” He said he doesn’t remember. I told him, “Father said, Wayne Lamb needs to go to Confession. Did you hear me? Father said you need to go to Confession.” Wayne, “no he didn’t.” Well he didn’t say your name, but he said we are deceiving ourselves and we need to evaluate our priorities.” Wayne, “we’re deceiving ourselves? Did he really say that?”

Father, thank you for adopting all of us and our problems so quickly after being assigned to our parish.

God bless you