The Church Beyond the Scars: A Journey to the Heart of Christ

I was baptized in Logan, Utah, in 1999. My journey into the Catholic faith began with a deal I made with my wife. I wanted to move our family to Utah for financial reasons, but she had one request: "If we move to Utah, I want you to learn about the Catholic faith." I agreed, thinking it was a small price to pay for a better financial future. I’m not sure if it was a deal with God or the devil. I do know the move was for more money—a better job.

For a year, every Tuesday night, I sat in a church on a hill, learning about the faith. What struck me the most was not what I expected. This was during the time when certain priests were being exposed and removed for the horrific sin of child abuse. The moral high ground of the Church seemed shattered, possibly for years to come. Many left the Church because of this. I understood their pain and anger. One woman, a lifelong Catholic, left. She herself had been molested as a child and could not bear the embarrassment. I believe she lost focus on the Cross of Christ—though Jesus never lost focus on her.

One cold, dark night, I sat alone in the church, a single candle casting a faint glow on the Crucifix. I looked at Christ hanging there and had an epiphany: Was there another church out there with a better breed of people? A better understanding of the Scriptures? Sin was real, and it existed outside of the Church—but was it any less real inside of it? Maybe even more real. For the first time, I found myself in a real place. It was no longer some sort of fantasy. All of this is very much real—a spiritual battle of good and evil. I began to run to it, not away from it.

As I rose to leave, my eyes fell upon the confessionals to the right of the huge double doors. It was then that I understood: This is where sinners go. Our Church is about forgiveness and reconciliation. This is the weapon it wields. If the whole world understood this room and used it, the whole world would be different—a room filled with mercy, a room filled with Christ.

At that moment, I knew—I was home. And my life changed forever.

The Catholic Church has stood for over 2,000 years. Empires have risen and fallen, cultures have changed, and wars have raged, yet the Church remains. Why? Because at its core, it is not merely an institution of men—it is the Church of Christ. It is built upon the foundation of Jesus, forgiveness, and reconciliation. No scandal, no corruption, no sin within it can change this core. That is what makes it divine. That is what makes it real.

Many misunderstand the Church, seeing only its flaws. They point to the sins of its members—clergy and laity alike—as proof of its failure. They say, "Come to our church; it is better." They see hypocrisy, judgment, and division. But in doing so, they miss something essential: The Church exists precisely because of sin. Christ came not to call the righteous but sinners. Not until we see ourselves as enemies of God will we ever understand the words of Jesus: “I AM asking you to love your enemies.” The Church is not a museum for saints; it is a hospital for the sick. And at the center of this hospital is the Great Physician—Jesus Himself.

Have you ever felt judged by Christians? Have you ever rejected faith because of the failures of others? What if the Church exists not because it is perfect, but because we are not? Christianity, lived authentically, begins with the admission that we are all sinners. We stand at the foot of the Cross, undeserving, in need of mercy. This is the heart of the Gospel. Don’t miss this—or you miss it all.

Throughout history, even those closest to Jesus faltered. Judas betrayed Jesus for silver. Peter denied Him three times. Thomas refused to believe without physical proof. Saint Paul once had Christians put to death. These were His chosen ones, yet they were weak. And yet, Christ still loved them, redeemed them, and built His Church upon them. If the apostles themselves struggled with sin and doubt, why should we expect anything different from the Church today? It’s precisely why we have it. Know what you have.

Some say that because there is corruption in the Church, it must not be of God. But if that logic were true, then every nation, every government, every family would also be condemned. America has had both good and bad presidents, yet we do not abandon the Constitution. We recognize that the principles of America are greater than the men who lead it. The same is true of the Church. Its where it all comes from. It’s what a country like America was built upon. The Catholic Church is more than the people who run it—it is founded on an eternal truth that transcends human failure. It has core beliefs that even a pope cannot change—protect, yes, but not change. Even a Pope goes to confession.

Perhaps the greatest misunderstanding of all is about the Cross itself. Why did God choose such a brutal way to reveal His love? The Crucifixion was not just an event—it was a message. Love is not a mere emotion; it is sacrifice. It is suffering for another, bearing their burdens, and even dying for them. That is what Christ did. And that is why the Church remains, despite everything—because it is built on that love, that sacrifice. If we turn away from the Church because of its sins, we turn away from the very reason it exists, why Christ came: to redeem sinners.

The Church is not built on shifting political statements—it is built on the unchanging truth of Christ. Leaders come and go, but Jesus remains.

Before you judge the Church by its failures, look at the Cross. Learn about all the good. It is the largest charitable organization on earth. Read the stories of the saints—ordinary people transformed by extraordinary grace. Saint Francis of Assisi, who renounced wealth to embrace a life of radical poverty and love for all creation. Saint Teresa of Calcutta, who held the dying and forgotten in her arms, seeing the face of Christ in each soul. Saint Maximilian Kolbe, who gave his life to save another in a concentration camp, embodying the words, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."

Consider the countless nameless priests, nuns, and laypeople who have dedicated their lives to healing the sick, educating the poor, and bringing hope to the hopeless—not for fame or fortune, but out of love for Christ. Think of the monasteries that preserved knowledge through the dark ages, the hospitals founded by the Church to care for the vulnerable, and the schools that lifted generations from ignorance to wisdom.

Before you walk away because of the sins of men, look at Jesus. He does not turn away from sinners—He redeems them. And He is still here, waiting for you. In every Mass celebrated around the world, His sacrifice is made present. In every confessional, His mercy is poured out. In every act of genuine charity, His love is alive and active.

Do not take your eyes off the Cross. Do not let the sins of men distract you from the holiness of God. The Catholic Church, at its core, is pure because its foundation is Christ. It is the living Body of Christ, carrying His light through the ages. It is the home of saints and sinners, the strong and the broken, the seeking and the found.

It is real. It is divine. And it will endure forever—not because of us, but because of Him.