Why do we still feel Tenderheartedness?

An old cliche that we of the older generation grew up with. Who among the later generations would think twice about leaving their spouse for an evening out with friends while that spouse is bed-ridden. Their excuse of leaving their mate alone is, “we all do it this way.”

The reason most of us who have entered into the Golden Years LOL (both in our late 80’s) is we grew up at a time in history that no longer seems to fit in this culture. There is a new opinion towards tenderness, forgiveness, and understanding towards each other that somehow slipped off the pages of the marriage vows.

If my wife appears to sleep a lot and says, “don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright” it hurts me to think I’ll just leave her alone and ignore her loneliness. My way of thinking is we belong to each other, not as items you buy or sell, but as two becoming one and are each other’s body and soul. So the marriage vows seem to allude to this.

I believe we are coming to a period in which our current attitude of being concerned about each other is reaching a point where no one will care about those closest to us. This isn’t just a path of evolving towards a hedonistic environment where everyone for themselves, it is a reaching away from personal care for each other and, “everyman for himself.” Is this something we should be concerned about? Yes! The days of moving West in the pioneer days were hard and treacherous, yet they stayed together and through the couple of hundred years grew living for each other.

This prediction is well meaning for the current citizens of America and elsewhere that need to remind themselves that just like money does not grow on trees, so the care we show each other doesn’t come naturally. Each one must take time to view what and who we are connected with, husbands and wives, and show we understand what we promise when giving the marriage vows to each other. Remember, we who join hands when we marry each other are the marrying ministers. The minister is just an official witness. Take these words to heart and live according to their meaning, “as one.”

You will not do anything to hurt yourself so do not provide a manner in which you hurt your spouse. He/she is yours forever while we are on this side of death.

My aunt, just shy of 104 years of age, fell and broke her hip. She died a few months later. My sister, 6 years older than myself, lived alone in a highrise for the elderly. She fell several times and the last fall put her in a nursing facility. She hit her head on the last fall and within a few months also passed away. My wife and I have also had a few falls but are still getting around while keeping a watch out for each other. We are careful to be close to each other as much as possible. We live with a daughter and her husband but still cannot live as teenagers any more. My point is, we need each other, and perhaps your elderly parents are in the same boat. Keep your eyes on them. They too are your parents who gave a lot for you; do not forget that!

Ralph B. Hathaway