A Lenten Treasure Hunt: Second Clue

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3

“Two women who were prostitutes came to the king and stood before him. The one woman said, ‘Please, my lord, this woman and I live in the same house; and I gave birth while she was in the house. Then on the third day after I gave birth, this woman also gave birth. We were together; there was no one else with us in the house, only the two of us were in the house. Then this woman’s son died in the night, because she lay on him. She got up in the middle of the night and took my son from beside me while your servant slept. She laid him at her breast, and laid her dead son at my breast. When I rose in the morning to nurse my son, I saw that he was dead; but when I looked at him closely in the morning, clearly it was not the son I had borne.’ But the other woman said, ‘No, the living son is mine, and the dead son is yours.’ The first said, ‘No, the dead son is yours, and the living son is mine.’ So they argued before the king. 

Then the king said, ‘The one says, “This is my son that is alive, and your son is dead”; while the other says, “Not so! Your son is dead, and my son is the living one.”’ So the king said, ‘Bring me a sword,’ and they brought a sword before the king. The king said, ‘Divide the living boy in two; then give half to the one, and half to the other.’ But the woman whose son was alive said to the king—because compassion for her son burned within her— ‘Please, my lord, give her the living boy; certainly do not kill him!’ The other said, ‘It shall be neither mine nor yours; divide it.’ Then the king responded: ‘Give the first woman the living boy; do not kill him. She is his mother.’”[1]

This story is mostly known because it portrays the wisdom of King Solomon, but it also shows what can happen when envy and jealousy take root in the heart of a person. The mother who lost her son did not have an ounce of love within her heart. Instead of crying for her dead son, her first reaction was to steal the other woman’s son. She obviously did not care for the other baby boy any more than she had cared for her own. But she was jealous of the other woman’s happiness. And she had to steal the other woman’s source of joy at any cost, even to the point of taking the life of an innocent baby.

Shakespeare called envy a “green eyed monster” for its treacherous effects on the soul. Envy is a sin which definitely causes a painful feeling within our souls. I have felt its painful pangs a few times in my life, and I have not enjoyed that feeling at all. One of the times that I clearly recall feeling the pain of envy was when I was trying to conceive a child. I had been trying unsuccessfully for almost a year, when one of my closest friends announced that she was expecting. The sad part, from my narrow and misguided point of view, was that she was not even trying. She had just gotten married, and having a baby so quickly had not been part of her plans. And here I was, married for three years already, wanting a baby more than anything else, and not obtaining my wish. I wanted to be happy for my friend, but at the same time, I was envious. 

It was a horrible feeling which truly caused pain in my heart, and it left an aftertaste in my mouth. I felt ashamed and humiliated. I had to remove that thorn from my heart, so I went to confession. Lucky for me, I ended up with a priest that gave me more than absolution for my terrible sin. He talked to me about turning my jealousy into joy. “How do I do that?” I asked him. He turned my question into one of his own: “Do you love your friend?” “Yes, of course,” I answered him. “Would you be happy for her if you were already expecting?” he asked. I thought about it and realized that I was already happy for her. I told him this and he said, “You are already starting to turn your feelings of envy into joy. God’s plans are always different than our own. You will have a baby, but it will happen in God’s time, not yours.”

Envy makes us unhappy because it doesn’t allow us to appreciate all the good things that we have in the present moment. We are so busy worrying about what others have that we become blind to what we have. Kindness helps us to overcome the sin of envy. When we respond to people with kindness, it helps them to feel better about themselves. This in turn helps us to become better people and achieve true happiness in our lives. When we choose kindness in our responses to others, we begin to embody kindness as a virtue. The virtue of kindness helps us to cultivate love within our hearts. And when we have an attitude of love, anything and everything is possible.

The second clue that will lead us to the treasure is: Replace the “green eyed monster” with kindness. Whenever we start to feel envy at someone else’s joy, let’s pray to God to remove the thorn of envy from our hearts. In this second week of Lent, let’s spread seeds of kindness. 

As my friend’s tummy grew, my joy for her also grew. I was not envious of her anymore. I was truly happy for her, and I told her so. Five months later, I decided that if I could not have a child of my own, I would adopt one. There were a lot of children in the world whose parents, for whatever reason, had to give them up for adoption. I knew that I had enough room in my heart to love someone else’s child. It was the month of December, so I told my husband that I was stopping all infertility treatments. “Let’s enjoy Christmas. Let’s enjoy life. Let’s plan a trip to Spain to go visit my family whom I have not seen in ten years, and then, let’s begin the adoption process.” He agreed with me, but God had a different plan for us. He sent us the biggest blessing that Christmas. We never got to go to Spain because we conceived our oldest son that December.

Let’s spread seeds of kindness everywhere we go. We can start by allowing the person behind us at the supermarket who only has to pay for a couple of items to get in front of us when our cart is full of groceries. Or we can let someone cut in front of us when we are in bumper-to-bumper traffic, even when it’s obvious they drove to the front instead of waiting patiently for their turn. Who knows? They may be running late for an appointment.

Every time I begin to feel just the slightest sting of envy at someone else’s joy, I remember King Solomon’s story, and how envy can destroy a person’s heart, even to the point that they are willing to kill rather than to see another person happy. And thus, I pray to God to remove the feeling of envy from my heart, and to replace it with kindness.

[1] New Revised Standard Version Bible Catholic Edition, 1 Kings 3:16-27