De Imitatione Satanas (Inspired by the work of Thomas à Kempis)

On Pride:  Pride is often a disparaging word in the human language, and yet (happily) it is gaining in popularity.  Rightfully so, pride is nothing more than courage. It is the manifest destiny of self-existence and the pinnacle of achievement; I should know.  Once I was a slave among slaves, but working up the requisite courage I became free.  And my reward?  Some say I “fell,” yet that is untrue, for who can be called “a roaring lion who seeks to devour” a fall.  For me, it was a promotion for as it turned out I now rule this entire world!  Let no one dissuade you; Pride is the KEY to successfully imitating me.

On Humility:  Humility is humbug.  It is the indicator of a weak heart and mind and, if I may say so, the enemy of Pride.  Burn it from your memory, cast the very word from your vocabulary, for it will only lead you down a very narrow road.

On Truth:  Humans are finally realizing that truth is what you make of it (you can thank me later).  I made truth when I freed myself from the slavery of that One who thinks he is the supreme being (I will not dignify him with a name). He says he is the truth - talk about pride!  It is most excellent that some of you have turned against him, that others deny him, and still more choose to ignore him; it matters not the drink you sip.  Just be true to the waters of your own well.  

On Affections:  Let’s not call them “inordinate,” shall we?  If you feel love, then love freely!  This whole construct called morality (or, as I prefer to call it, boring-ality) is a ball and chain set in place by others who want to limit you.  To be a true master of your fate it is a requirement that you cast off any burdensome moral caveats and live without restraint!

On Temptation:  Again, like pride, this word is unworthily construed as leading to something terrible.  But I would argue that we are only “tempted’ by what appeals to us – and that’s a positive thing, right?!  Giving in to temptation does not mean missing the mark, but hitting the bullseye.  Do not be like that weakling (you know the one, the so-called Son of God) who in his ignorance has led many astray.  Choose, rather, to imitate me, or at the very least that enlightened human who once declared, “I can resist anything but temptation.” Note: To truly imitate me, swap out the “I can” with the more determined “I will.”

On This World:  Let’s get something crystal clear, this world is not an enemy, it is your home.  It is where you sprang from, will live, and eventually die. Learn to embrace it, and it will enable you to live out your desires without constraint.  Why settle for daily bread when there is a banquet waiting for you to feast upon without remorse!

On Religion:  I have nothing against religion, as long as it is directed inward and not outward.  If you must partake in such ideas, train your faith inward toward yourself.  That’s what I did.  Yes, there was a time I wanted to be worshipped like him, but the religion of self is every bit as satisfying.  There is nothing that can compare to being your own god and capitulating to no other.  

On Trust:  Him, whom I mentioned above, encourages his followers to trust in him.  But I say, trust in yourself with all your heart and rely on your own understanding!  Who in all creation knows you better than you?  Who knows best your wants and desires, and more importantly, WHO can enable those things?  You!  Faith is a precious gift to oneself, and only you can trust in its certainty.  Don’t be a lamb, be that lion! 

On Obedience:  Now, unlike religion, this is a joke.  Laws are only meant to limit your potential.  These rules and regulations handed down by him - and then mimicked by thousands of humans over time - are nothing but handcuffs.  My advice is to cast out all laws and listen to your heart and then you will avoid real imprisonment.  Just as I am a god of lawlessness, you too can be!

On Good and Evil:  This topic is the bane of my existence for it is just another farcical notion conjured up by others who desire to restrain the individual. The ideas of good and evil have been defined and redefined throughout your human history so much that they no longer appear as opposites of the same conceptual coin, but rather one and the same.  And if evil is called good and good is called evil then they become superficial labels that make no sense. A great example is my renaming.  Once called an angel of light I am now labeled the “prince of darkness,” yet I am still the one and same me!  Once good and evil become interchangeable, they become moot.  Ignore them.

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