Fix Your Eyes

"In difficult moments I will fix my gaze upon the silent heart of Jesus, stretched upon the cross, and from the exploding flames of his merciful heart, will flow down upon me power and strength to keep fighting" - Saint Faustina

We all get disappointed and there are many ways it happens to us. We place expectations on others hoping they will do what we want, when we want. When things do not turn out according to our plan, disappointment arrives with a fury. I can only give a silly example. I was overcharged for parking. I called and complained, and the agency hung up quickly. I escalated the situation unnecessarily, and it was resolved. I expect people to act a certain way because I think they should. This is not our starting point. I go to daily mass. I end up rolling my eyes during the homily because I think that the homily should be a certain way. A friend reminded me that the liturgy, like the circumstances in our lives, need to surprise us. Are we allowing ourselves to be surprised? Likely not.

"I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone." - Thomas Merton

Recently, I was on a call with my dear friends in the Carmel. They reminded me of the great saints whom we need to call upon in times of trouble. This is Church teaching. The saints are praying for us. Are we even asking them? I was reading about Blessed Augustus Czartoryski of Poland. He had tuberculosis along with his mother. She died but he was sent to various places in Europe in search of a cure. He met St. John Bosco, and his life changed from that point on. He joined the Salesians. Pope Leo XIII supported him even though Don Bosco thought him not healthy enough. He served faithfully in a parish until TB did him in. St. Julia Billiart took a private vow of chastity. Sitting next to her father, a shot partially crippled her for 22 years. She was miraculously cured and continued her work with the Congregation of the Sisters of Notre Dame. She died while praying. St. Clothilde, wife of Clovis of France who converted could not end the squabbling among her sons suffered disappointment. She channeled her energy with the poor instead.

“Our obedience to God’s will must be total, without reserve and constant.” Blessed Domingo Iturrate Zubero. 1922

Disappointment is never easy to deal with. I remember once in university at mass towards the end of the academic year, the priest reminded all the students in the parish that not everyone will get accepted into law school, med school or grad school. We all need to learn to deal with disappointment and surrender to God’s will. He will open the road that is really for us. We cannot create reality; we need to follow it intensely. I learned this from Father Luigi Giussani in the movement of Communion and Liberation. I was struck this week about the story of Susanna in the Book of Daniel. It is always so stunning to read how she was accused – falsely. It was Daniel who opened the eyes of the people around her. We all need someone to follow and open our eyes. Then, disappointment would not reign in our hearts, but Christ will open our eyes to His will. Then disappointment might still occur, but we will not be defeated by it. We might realize that there is always more in our destiny.

"I think peace will be a long time coming. But our faith teaches us that we must always keep on hoping, we shall enjoy it one day" - Pier Giorgio Frassati