Poor Judas

     I'm torn in my mind about Judas Iscariot. In one place in my mind, I don't like him. He betrayed Jesus and helped cause His death. In another place in my mind, I'm empathetic to the heavy weight of confusion that plagued his mind, as did the other Apostles, the nearer it came to Jesus'  time to die. In another place in my mind, I am confused about the fact that he gave a kiss to our Lord, probably with tears in his eyes and heart. Knowing that that very moment it was the wrong thing to do. But, recalling that once you start something big, it's almost impossible to turn back. 

     Poor Judas, sitting right beside our Lord at the Last Supper. Eating and drinking our Lord's Body and Blood. Praying with Him and the other Apostles. The torment the evil one played with his mind. Right in the presence of Our Lord. 

     Confusion makes us all do stupid things. In Judas's case there was Pride, Stature, Greed and Arrogance that played huge roles in his decision to help capture Jesus. Just as in the Garden of Eden, Satan can be pretty persuasive. He can make you believe it isn't so bad and that the consequences won't hurt. When the real truth is, that those lies lead to destruction of your soul. Jesus knew all along that Judas would betray Him, but He still allowed him to follow along and witness the miracles and hear the prophetic words of His teachings. All in all, we cannot hide once the deed of sin is done. It is up to us to be a "Peter", to forgive ourselves and ask God to forgive us. Despair is a wretched thing. We must get out of our minds and open up the window that lets in the gentle breeze of the power of the Holy Spirit. Never ever think you are hopeless. God never thinks that of us. The only one that thinks that, or tries to make us think that, is the devil. It is one of his most prominent tools. Hopelessness. If Saint Paul would have thought it was hopeless, then he wouldn't have become one of God's Mighty warriors and preachers in the Army of Jesus Christ. If Peter would have thought hopelessly, he would not be holding the keys to the Gates of Heaven. 

     Pray ceaselessly. Pray for forgiveness of self and enemies and loved ones. Pray for this world's conversion. For our own conversion. Because no one is free from the stain of sin, and everyone could be a Judas if it weren't for the grace of a merciful, loving, forgiving God.