Jesus' Last Sleep

What was it like for you Lord when you fell asleep on Wednesday?  Was it a restless sleep, full of anxiety knowing what was going to happen over the next few days?  Did you lay there, eyes wide open, asking God for rest and deliverance?  Maybe You thumbed some Our Father's to help keep your mind off of the future and allowing yourself to be in the present moment instead.  Those Our Fathers would have redirected any thoughts of anxiety and doubt to the Father - "Thy will be done", on earth as it is in heaven".  While the human aspect of you may have felt these emotions or allowed yourself to experience them for our sake, your holy and divine nature was more in tune with Your Father. Our hearts are restless until they rest in you St Augustine says so it is likely that you didn't feel anxious or worried since Your most Precious Heart has always rested in the Father. 

What was it like for you Judas the night before the Last Supper?  Were you second guessing your strategy to turn in your best friend?  Were feelings of remorse floating throughout your heart as the weight of what you agreed to laid upon you?  Did you toss and turn since your heart did not rest in the Lord but in whatever perversion of your Spirit that made you think the right choice was to betray the Lord.

How did you feel Lord when your mind came to Judas?  You love him just like you love the other 11.  You will allow him to be present at the Last Supper, giving him one last chance to repent.  But Judas seems to have already turned his back to you, hasn't he?  His mind was made up that even a few pieces of silver were more valued than your friendship.  You saw this when Your feet were bathed in the expensive perfume.  His zeal was not for the poor but for his own benefit.  You will see this contempt again tomorrow when you bathe His feet, his eyes staring down at You in confirmation of his superior position over You.

Did your thoughts wander towards Peter, your rock to be relied on.  Knowing his betrayal through denial would come yet still trusting him with the keys to your Church.  Did you second guess yourself on how 2 people within your inner circle could betray you yet have extremely opposite paths after?  Did you consider what would have been different had you spent more time with Judas, or taught him differently, held him accountable for his theft sooner?  Would this have saved him?  The pain of seeing your closest friend choose betrayal when You chose love and death could have been Your last thoughts as You drifted off to sleep.