My Experience with Catholic Answers

I asked a just man his opinion on the prudence of publishing this very heartfelt and sincere criticism of the faithful. He has unequivocally advised me to do so, though he is the most proprietous and decorous man I can think of, full of the virtue of caution in all his pursuits.

The title of this article is unabashedly about the answers which the general mill of Catholics have given me for the problems I encounter in the world as a father and husband. It is not about the organization called Catholic Answers. I justify this by thinking of it as a joke, and if it generates more readers, than I promise you people that what you are reading will be worth the little trick that has left you, possibly, feeling betrayed.

A good friend asked me recently how I and the family are doing. Here is my answer:

“We have big ups and downs. We are always at our limit. People helping us sometimes suggest we should not have had as many children, but I love all my children. My wife has a hard time every day. She usually breaks down every other day or so, and it takes many hours of hard conversation each time. I have a hard time keeping my patience. I have had to find a way to work nearly 24/7 in order to pay the bills and take care of my family at the same time, so I am always near the end of my patience. We have had one good babysitter so far. I am looking for a second one, but the process is difficult. Catholics oftentimes respond to our continued trouble by suggesting that its our fault for not being good enough, so I have taken to telling everyone off the bat that we are not good parents, so that they do not keep implying it, because it hurts my wife's state. We suffered a lot from pursuing a mortgage and employment after everyone recommended to me to do that, which killed my son by miscarriage, so I do not really respect Catholic opinions anymore.

“When I have had them unsolicited, generally they say I did not get a job or a mortgage with enough skill. I find that laughable. But that's what they say. I should have been a more clever man with the paperwork, and I should consider going to college. That sort of thing. People will say anything to keep from feeling responsible for their neighbors to alleviate their suffering. Charity is cold in the world. They would be better off by admitting that they are overwhelmed and underpaid and should not have to work sixty hours a week in order to have no money at the end of the day. My podcast and all of my educational and apologetical work, everything under publishing, is now dealing with this issue. I figure if I can help people get free of this terrible slavery we live in, then more people will have charity and all the virtues. That's my plan. So far, the separated brethren are the most cooperative in that venture.”

Why are my wife and I in this state? On a regular basis, people tell me or at least imply that it is my own fault. Fair enough. If I succeed in convincing some of them that it is not my fault, then they think it is my wife’s fault. Some people remember after this that charity suggests they help us anyways, and then they often offer money. I have begun to make money so that they might stop doing that. I think it is bad for them. If our expenses every month might average at $3000 (I provide this number for the sake of argument. You can replace it with almost any number), and they give me $300, they think it is a hefty sum. It is. It costs them a lot to scrape that together. But if this amount, which is a tenth of the monthly expenses we are talking about, runs out in three days (a tenth of thirty days), then they will be severely tempted to think I am ungrateful for asking for more money three days later.

This is a really grave problem which I am trying to reveal with my work. Let us look at it from the point of view of time rather than money. I have three examples. Recently, I complained to a priest that I was really concerned about my soul and my marriage. He said that the type of help which I require is something most people are not capable of giving. I pointed out to him that what I had requested was a babysitter for Tuesday night. This is the first example. People are not capable of giving a couple of hours a week to help a struggling family. My wife and I, because of a lack of relatives and other people who could put our children to bed, typically go a month or longer without having an hour’s uninterrupted conversation. This does not include individual prayer.

That is the second example: the amount of time me and my wife have. On a typical day, my son wakes up at 5:30 am. That is after a handful of wakeups from the baby who is teething and my daughter who is being potty trained, between 10pm and 4:30am when I wake up. From 5:30 until 2:00pm, we are besieged by requests for food, bathroom, attention, play, snacks, fights, hurts, disputes, etcetera. At 2:00pm we begin trying to give the children a nap. They typically get out of bed four times and yell and break things while in their bedroom, requiring us to go into the room. If they all sleep at 3:00pm, which happens maybe half of the time (the other half, one of them does not sleep at all, and does their best to wake the others up unless we take them out), then they wake up at 4:00pm. They then besiege us again for the attention which, honestly, they require for the sake of their good development, until 8:00pm. We then begin the same fight again until 10:00pm and sometimes longer.

This pattern has repeated with very little interruption, very much variation (most of which has made it more difficult), for about four or five years now. We have one relative who has visited us in that time to help with this, and she is able to do so about once every six to twelve months, for a couple of weeks. During that time, the strain of old drama and differences in opinion cause almost as much turmoil as watching the children as long as she can (which is not the entire span of time I have described) relieves. There has been one family that came for a couple of weeks surrounding our last child’s birth, and there has been some other visits for sickness or something of that nature. We have been sick more often than we have had these visits. The family that came cannot anymore or will not, and no one else has been consistent enough to feel comfortable with, say, running the naptime gambit without our involvement. I say, on average, we have gotten two hours unpracticed help every three months or so in what is otherwise a 24/7 occupation with no planned days off or even fifteen-minute breaks.

A third example is this: a friend of mine is visiting Romania. He sent a picture of the “Couple’s Prison”, which is a room a priest concocted wherein would be locked a quarreling married couple until they gave promises to get along together. There is one small bed, one spoon, one table in the room. Let me ask you, where are the children placed during this time? It is not even mentioned. Why is that? It is assumed that everyone has some relative to watch their children. If not, then some member of the community, since everyone shares the same basic view of childrearing and can discipline in a relatively acceptable manner, and there is not a great fear of perversion or scandal. If not that, then there is some religious, some nun, dedicated to the task.

The point is our lack of time, and these are just examples. It is not to indite those who do not have children. If you take the example I have given you of my own schedule, then ask yourself where I find time to pay the bills, to pray, to charitably and patiently answer correspondence? Factor in those three activities into everyone’s life in America, and you will see how little time everyone has for these basic requirements of, not good, but only normal living.

Our Lady said that the last attack of the enemy will be against marriage and the family. What is marriage and the family? The foundation upon which all society and community is built. Society and community was destroyed first. Before these two, time was stolen. Time was stolen by the manipulation of money, which is called usury. Even if a man lives on a homestead totally self-sufficient and, let us imagine, has no need for major medical intervention or a family or anything of that nature, still, he will be affected by this tyrant with four under-generals. The reason is because he has relatives. These relatives live, cause trouble, want to see him and hear from him, and eventually die. They do these things under the four underlings of usury which are called Income Tax, Interest Rates, Insurance, and Inflation.

I have some plans for defeating this monster and his four eyes. They are many and complex, but they come down to simple principles. It involves the conversion of people. I think that if we can assist people with this problem, then we will do everything that the Ransomers did for the slaves which they freed in the Medieval period, which does everything to save their souls.

Please contact me if you would like to support me in any way. I desire your little time left over after paying your bills and doing your duties, when you are tired. Taurusnecrus@gmail.com. Expect a conversation, so that I might get to know you, but I will be mindful of your besieged time. You can follow me most closely at TaurusNecrus.substack.com where there are many examples of my apologetics with Muslims, Flat Earthers, Atheists, Protestants, and more.

If you must, if you have no time at all, if you cannot avoid sin for the distractions and overwhelming temptations of your duties, then you can support what I am doing monetarily: https://www.subscribestar.com/taurus-necrus-productions

I am finding the least usurious way to move money digitally as we speak, so expect that link to change in the future. That is not to say I will not continue to use it so far as it aids the good fight. I have also a place for paper checks: PO Box 194, Canton, TX 75103