Yom Kippur

Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement – is the highest of the holy days in Jewish faith. And because I’d been thinking about my life-trajectory, in 1971 I woke up on Yom Kippur, determined to be a better Jew. I promised myself that from that day forward I’d obey the Ten Commandments and do whatever I needed to do to please God.

But when my girlfriend unexpectedly knocked on my apartment door around noon – my promises evaporated.

One year later, on Yom Kippur 1972, I sat alone in my navy barracks room, thinking back to my failure of one year earlier. I pulled my journal from my locker and wrote a heart-felt plea: “Oh, God – forgive me for my past sins, and look with tolerance on my future ones.”

I wrote as I did because I knew I was trapped in sin. I knew no matter how hard I tried and how many promises I could make – I could not live up to God's commandments. I didn’t know it at the time, but heart was at a place it needed to be for God to break through and reveal to my heart the answer to my prayer for forgiveness.

His answer was – is – Jesus.

I think back to that day in 1972 quite often. And please do not misunderstand me – I am nowhere near the living out of holiness that I know I must live. I sin routinely. I suppose it is fair to say I remain trapped in sin because I still have a sin nature.

But today I DO have full access to God's forgiveness. Today I DO have access to the Holy Spirit who always empowers me to say ‘No’ to some temptation that wants me to say, ‘Yes.”  And while God does not, nor will He ever, look with tolerance on my sins – He always provides me the assurance that when I strive to walk the narrow way of His choosing, when I confess my sins – even if I must do so a dozen times a day for the same sin – God promises to wipe them from my record and from His memory.

But, enough about me.  I hope this post speaks to you, for until we grieve over our sin nature, we won’t know how desperately we need Jesus. Until we recognize we’re trapped in sin, we won’t know how desperately we need Jesus. Until we weep and mourn because we keep doing the same thing again and again and again – hating every time we do it, then we won’t know how desperately we need Jesus.

Please. Please think about what I am saying here. We fool ourselves to think that all we need to do to please God is be to baptized and attend Mass each week. It’s wholly insufficient to do those things without a true and daily commitment of life and lifestyle to Christ. And that will only happen when God wakes us up to realize we really do need Jesus to save us from ourselves.

And that would be a good prayer, wouldn’t it? To ask God to reveal to you how desperately – desperately – you need Jesus.