Happy Father's Day to All Fathers by Lambert Mbom.

Once a year, the world dedicates a day to celebrate not just fatherhood but fathers. It is a complicated and complex class. Having and taking care of children is the basic definition of what it takes to be a father. There is no school for fatherhood but fatherhood itself. One learns how to be a father by being a father. To be a father is not just to show up at public events like to make great speeches. It is not a performative sport. It is not part-time or past time. 

Contrary to what many people think, being a caring father is one of the things many men who are in prison point to as both tough and hopeful. Many want to go home and just take care of their children and this alone helps with recidivism. Every time I drop people who are leaving prison, this is the one thing many are talking about, their children. 

In 2020, Pope Francis offered a great document which I believe every Catholic father who can should read, imbibe and cherish. The title of the document is “Patris Corde” which simply means, With a Father's Heart. The fatherhood of St. Joseph is the example set before fathers to emulate. He described St. Joseph as a “Beloved father,” “tender and loving father,” “obedient father,” “accepting father,” “creatively courageous father,” “working father,” and “father in the shadows.” St. Joseph was not “Father In Name Only” - FINO. And so on this Father's day, each father should ask himself, what kind of a father are you? What qualities of being a father do you need to improve on your own fatherhood? 

In the same document, Pope Francis notes: “Fathers are not born, but made. A man does not become a father simply by bringing a child into the world, but by taking up the responsibility to care for that child.” Taking care of the children brought forth is the mark of responsible fatherhood. What does it mean to take care? Very often we interpret this to mean just materially provision. And that is important and necessary but not sufficient. Susan Schwartz’s book, “The Absent Father Effect on Daughters,” underlines emotional absence as well as physical absence. It is different if the father is dead. There are fathers who are physically present but emotionally disastrous. A holistic approach to fatherhood whereby physical, emotional and spiritual care is provided is crucial. Rich fathers who splurge on their kids and are never present for other aspects of their lives leave out something important and crucial in that sacred responsibility to care.

What is more, Pope Francis further notes that “Whenever a man accepts responsibility for the life of another, in some way he becomes a father to that person.” My brother and friend James Nkuo understood this so well and in a forthcoming book, he describes Innocent Chia as his father for opening the gateway to an opportunity that transformed his life. James also refers to Dr Tingem of happy memory as his father because of the mentorship he provided him to be who he is today. We have these father figures in our lives especially within the immigrant community. Are you responsible for some other person’s life? Happy Father's Day! 

God blessed me with a gentle, kind, intuitive, and very humorous father. As I went through my legal proceedings, one document that the Justice department created is a Pre-sentencing report (PSR). They sought to find out if anything in my upbringing could account for my current plight? And a resounding no shone through. Never abused. We did not have much but we never lacked. Daddy Mbom was a God-fearing man who strove hard to give us what we needed to make life comfortable. I remember one of those days when I had done one of those things again and he pulled me in and scolded me and even teared up asking what he had done wrong that I just could not become the man he had slaved away to ensure I become and to make it through life. On this Father's day, I prayerfully and thankfully proclaim, Happy father’s day, Daddy Mbom. Whether I have lived up to be a father like my father and even a better father is left to my children. They will write their own assessment. Even though I can say in my own little way, I have been and strive to be a caring and responsible father to them. 

One set of fathers hardly spoken of are Godfathers. They play an incredibly important role in the faith lives of their God children. This seems to have become a mere ceremonial role, in fact more perfunctory to meet certain requirements. The rite of Baptism stipulates four things clearly as being the role of Godparents. First, assisting the parents in training the child in the practice of the faith, bringing them up to keep God's commandments as Christ taught us, by loving God and our neighbor. Next, claiming the child for Christ by signing them with the sign of the Cross, followed by the solemn and lastly to be the light as the celebrant invites “Parents and godparents, this light is entrusted to you to be kept burning brightly. This child of yours has been enlightened by Christ…to walk always as a child of the light.” On this Father's Day, if your Godchild has not called you to wish you happy Father's day, check yourself. Some of us have long forgotten we are Godfathers. We are waiting for the next sacrament when we shall show up again to show off. There are Godfathers In Name Only Too. Today is a day to remind ourselves of our duties as fathers and Godfathers. Many of us either do not know or have forgotten our responsibilities as Godfathers. You need to be a man of faith yourself. Faith, cross, light are your responsibility as Godfather. Many parents are struggling with teenage children and their faith formation because Godfathers have absconded. Let us rise up to the challenge and play that supportive role and assist. Be a devoted Godfather. Happy father's day to all Godfathers too.