The Crisis of Fatherhood

In the society in which we live, the figure of the father is openly attacked and there is a clear attempt to deconstruct this paternal identity. Everything that can be related to the father, such as authority, discipline, strength, protection, provision, is attacked either as something evil or something that can be perfectly exercised by the woman, the mother. The main consequence of this is an insecure and anxious generation.  

There are various causes for this situation, the main one being an evil supernatural force, the devil himself, who has an interest in this destruction of the father, because without a father figure in natural life, a supernatural relationship with God as Father becomes much more difficult. 

Authority Comes from God 
When creating the family, God placed the responsibility of being the provider and the head on the shoulders of the man; in other words, the father's authority must always come first. He has been biologically and psychologically prepared for this mission and needs to learn to develop these skills in the confusing world we live in. This authority, however, cannot be confused with authoritarianism, with absolute power or oppression over the other members of the family. 

Healthy paternal authority reflects the authority of God the Father. In the father, children should be able to experience the fatherhood of God, who protects, guides the way forward, and provides the means for the child to fulfill his or her mission. And if, as a son or daughter, I have a correct image of God, my whole life will be secured. 

Education for Obedience and Courage 
A father's mission is to educate his children for obedience and courage. Father Joseph Kentenich teaches: My children must learn from me, father, to be courageous. Life later on demands courage. It must not be a joke. But also a vigorous obedience and following of my authority and not of any kind of law. (...) We don't have to follow a law, but the incarnation of the law in the father.
The father must represent the incarnation of the law, so everything he demands of his children, he must first of all live out in his own life. This is a huge challenge and it's important that the children see their father's struggle to live the virtues, and that it's not a sign of weakness if he ever fails and has to acknowledge his mistake and ask for forgiveness.  

Women's Responsibility 
The woman, wife and mother, has a great responsibility to help the father resume his role in the family dynamic and thus build a solid family. First of all, she needs to understand the importance of the man exercising his masculinity and not wanting to take on a role that is not hers. Women are already overloaded with many tasks and need to see that they shouldn't want to do everything themselves, even if they are capable of it. 

The child only knows who the father is because of the mother. It is the mother who must lead the child to the father, show that she respects and values him and not interfere in the father's way of bringing up the child, even if it seems very harsh to her. The son needs to know that life isn't easy and that he has the ability to face difficulties with courage and strength, and it's the father who teaches him this.  

Many men are lost, as if paralyzed, and repress their nature to try to fit the mold of what modern women believe to be the ideal man, who is nothing more than a caricature of a man, an androgynous being, neither masculine nor feminine. 

Women need to value the provider side of men and not take this role away from them. Of course, it is now more difficult to show a man that he is responsible for providing for the family, as the woman's income has also become "necessary," but if the man understands that the bills are all his and what comes from her is extra, the psychological dynamic has already changed, even if in practice it remains the same. 

And if it's not possible to change the couple's life, it's always possible to teach the children a new perspective. Through a good conversation, it's possible to show that perhaps the best thing for a family is for the man to be the main provider. And this should start from the time they are dating, where the man always pays the bill and the woman allows it (and demands it, if he doesn't know how it should be). 

Another attitude that women can change is to see a man's kindnesses and help, such as opening the door, carrying the shopping, driving the car, as what they really are: a recognition that the woman deserves this affection and care. Men try to be kind in order to please women and make their lives easier, not because they think they are incapable of doing what they are doing for them.  

Changing society is no easy task and it doesn't happen quickly. What we can do is change ourselves and help those around us to see the beauty of the family in the way it was dreamed up by God. We need to follow the biological and psychological design of man and woman so that the family functions in a way that brings security and happiness to all members. Let us ask Saint Joseph, father, provider, and protector of the Holy Family of Nazareth, to help our parents, spouses, siblings, and children to be the image of the Heavenly Father.