No Stigmata For Me!

When I was very young, still in school, I loved reading stories of Saints blessed with Stigmata, St. Frances, St. Gemma and my patron saint, St. Catherine of Sienna. I especially liked hearing about the Stigmata of Padre Pio who lived and died in my lifetime. Stigmata was real to me. I thought, “even Padre Pio experienced Stigmata.” I asked myself, “What if I get Stigmata?”

I don’t believe these Saints asked for Stigmata. They must have been extremely close to Christ, feeling his Passion intensely and personally. With a burning love for Our Lord they were willing to suffer anything for him. I’m certain they saw Stigmata as an exceptional gift as they received visible wounds of Christs Crucifixion on their bodies. They did not see Stigmata as a tribulation but as a sign of Jesus’ special love for them.

So when I was school age I used to wonder about the Stigmata. Could it happen to me? Did I even want it? But then I decided it wasn't possible for me. I could never be that holy and good.

But now as I near my senior years and am closer to heaven I received, in a way, my own little Stigmata. “Really?” I hear you say in disbelief! No not really. No Stigmata for me, instead I have my Jesus knee.

Before I went to Medjugorje a few years ago, my knees were bothering me a lot, especially when kneeling and going up and down stairs. I wondered how I was going to climb Apparition Hill and Cross Mountain and do all the kneeling at two Masses a day and Adoration several times a week. I gave this problem to God. Miraculously the pain in my knees completely went away shortly before I left for Medjugorje and while I was there. But later at home when the pain in my right knee returned, I wondered about it. If this was a miracle cure then why would the pain come back? I didn't think about it too much. Happy that at least God took it away while I was with his Mother and grateful that this time the pain was only in one knee.

However one morning after Mass during Adoration, it was like something was revealed to me as I meditated on the Passion of Our Lord. It seems I never run out of ways to think about the Passion. There are so many details. New ways of looking at the suffering of Christ come to light. I often ask Jesus not to let me forget his Crucifixion for even one day. This day as I asked Jesus again to help me remember his Passion and Death, it came to me! My knee won’t let me forget the Crucifixion of Our Lord even for a day. As Jesus carried the heavy wooden cross to Calvary we know He fell at least three times. As I think about Jesus carrying the cross, I picture the cross lying on Jesus’ right shoulder as he supports it with one hand on either side and drags it behind him. When Jesus fell he might have fallen on his knees before falling to the ground. His right knee would have taken most of the beating.

It’s almost wrong for me to make this comparison of my knee to Jesus’ knee. My pain is so insignificant compared to the pain of Our Lord. Yet this thought came to more during Adoration as I meditated on the Passion. My Jesus knee has become my daily reminder of the Crucifixion of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

But on remembering the Stigmata of the Saints, I never felt that their suffering was equal to the pain and suffering Jesus endured when nailed to the cross though the blessed Saints did suffer greatly from Stigmata.

As for my Jesus knee, I graciously accept this bit of pain and inconvenience. I appreciate this reminder of our Lord’s suffering. When my doctor asked me if I wanted to do something about the pain in my knee, I answered, “It’s my Jesus knee! I’m keeping it. Thank you very much!”

My Jesus knee could be the result of old age. Still I sincerely believe Jesus gave this pain to me because I asked for this reminder of the Passion of Our Lord. I’m happy to have this gift from My Savior!

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10