Why Courtship Beats Modern Dating Every Time

Dating is Broken. Courtship is the Cure

The modern dating scene can be a nightmare: one-night stands, open relationships, and infidelity. Dating is a loose, often ambiguous term: it can be casual, noncommittal, or open. But for those seeking something deeper and more traditional, there is a solution.

The Church designed a system called courting. Courting or courtship is defined as "the period wherein some couples get to know each other prior to a possible marriage or committed romantic, de facto relationship."

Courting is the traditional way to be in a romantic relationship. It typically leads to happier, healthier relationships, which turn into happier, healthier marriages. It should be noted that there are exceptions to both methods. Plenty of couples form healthy, committed relationships through modern dating. And courting doesn't always lead to a happy relationship or end in marriage--couples who court are not exempt from cheating, lying, or broken hearts.

However, the key differences between courting and dating point to courting as the holier option that's more likely to lead to a happy marriage.

The Core Differences: Why Courtship Leads to Real Love

1. Intention: A couple enters a courtship to discern whether they will marry, and if they discover that the relationship won't end in marriage, they break it off. Dating usually doesn't have a clear intention, and the couple may not even think about marriage.
2. Abstinence: Couples who are courting refrain from sexual intimacy before marriage to practice purity and chastity. They save it as a gift for each other once they're married. Dating couples have no such limitations and often live together.
3. Familial involvement: Courting begins with the male seeking approval from the female's parents, traditionally her father, to court her, and both families play an active role with each other and in the relationship. Dating happens without the involvement and sometimes even the knowledge of the families.
4. Commitment: Courting is a sort of formal arrangement where commitment and exclusivity are essential; dating is usually casual and noncommittal.
5. Communication: Courtship emphasizes healthy conflict resolution, serious discussions about long-term goals, openness, and honesty. Dating couples, by contrast, often avoid these deeper conversations early on and communicate poorly, which can lead to many trivial misunderstandings and conflict.
6. Time frame: Courtship usually leads to marriage within a year, with no wasted time, whereas dating can last years without marriage in sight.
7. Shared faith: Couples build a courtship around a shared faith and morals, but dating can be between two people with completely different values and backgrounds.

Ready for True Love? Choose Courtship Over Casual

Many people are tired of dating and have quit trying. They've been broken-hearted, hurt, and humiliated. If you're one of those people and you're looking for a God-centered, faithful relationship, you should try a courtship rather than modern dating.

Some believe courting is too rigid, or they prefer a relationship where they can be sexually intimate before marriage. Remember that when you meet the right person, you'll have your whole life with them ahead of you. You don't need to rush into intimacy. If you focus on building a strong, God-centered relationship with the right person, you can spend the rest of your life married. The "rules" of courtship may seem like a lot at the time, but the marriage that blooms from it will be worth it.

A relationship need not be as complicated as the modern world makes it. Practice purity and charity in your relationship, pray together often, build one another up, bring each other closer to God, and court with intention. God will provide the rest.