God, I’m Tired of Being Brave

Annie Pieadadi D'Costa | 07/22/2025

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR on Unsplash

You know, Lord…
I never signed up to be strong.
Not like this.
Not the kind of strong that holds back tears in hospital waiting rooms.
Not the kind that laughs at WhatsApp messages while quietly breaking inside.
Not the kind that says “I’m fine” so others won’t worry.

I don’t remember the exact day I started carrying everything.
But here I am—heart heavy, soul stretched, eyes dry from pretending.
Still showing up.
Still saying the right things.
Still being “brave.”

But God… I’m tired.
Not just sleepy-tired.
Bone-tired.
Soul-tired.
The kind of tired that rest doesn’t fix, because it’s not just about sleep—it’s about surrender.
And I forgot how to do that.

Everyone applauds resilience.
But no one asks what it cost.
No one sees the prayers whispered in the bathroom mirror, the tears wiped away before stepping into church, the silent scream behind the smile.

I know You’re near.
But right now, I don’t need a miracle.
I don’t need answers.
I just need to know it’s okay… to not be okay.

So I’ll stop trying to impress You with strength.
I’ll stop pretending I’m fearless.
Because You never asked me to be fearless.
You just asked me to come.

So here I am.
Not the brave one.
Just the broken one.
Still Yours.

God doesn’t need your performance. He wants your presence. Even when your brave face is gone.

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About the Author

Annie Pieadadi D'Costa

website

A poet, author, and faith writer who believes words can heal what silence hides. My poetry collections — Inked Emotions, Scattered Feelings Stitched in Ink, and Love Beyond Loss — were born out of seasons of grief, solitude, and deep reflection.

Here on Catholic365, I’ve been humbled to share reflections that have reached hundreds of readers. I write not from a place of perfection, but from a longing to make sense of love, loss, and the quiet ways God speaks into our lives.

Whether it’s a poem, a story, or a small reflection, my hope is that you feel seen, encouraged, and gently reminded that faith isn’t always loud — sometimes it’s found in the waiting, the falling, the starting again.

You can find more of my work at https://about.me/anniedcosta