So Many Spiritualities — And I'm Confused About How to Pray!

Which Form of Prayer Is Best for Me?

Prayer is a deeply mysterious enterprise. On one hand, it is simple—a conversation with the personal God. On the other hand, it is complex—a profound soul-transforming encounter with an Infinite Mystery.

Prayer is multi-faceted and can be as unique as each individual who exercises this ultimate expression of human freedom. And even if we can’t look at an icon or speak with our mouths, nothing can take away the ability for us to commune with God in our hearts.

Our latest chat explores the ins and outs of various types of prayer, but especially the deeply transforming forms of mental prayer and contemplation. They will talk about what the “goal of prayer” is, and how we can stay more focused in prayer and become more aware of God.

Don’t let another day of your life go by without coming closer to God in prayerful meditation. Start here with some friendly and familiar advice.

And consider joining our Living Jesus Chat Room of the Visitation Sisters. Each Sunday we read a passage of St. Francis de Sales and then gather great insights and sharing.

Meditating on the Life of Jesus

Question: What is mental prayer? Is it merely praying silently in our minds instead of out loud?

Sydney: It is contemplating and meditating on the life and events of Jesus.

Sherry: I must say. Over the years. I got really frustrated, tired… confused, etc. To understand what the individual spiritualities mean by their different ways of naming different ways of prayer. For me, mental prayer is now everything that is silent prayer – and not structured. But I think Sydney’s answer is the proper one. Every time I go to confession and speak about my prayer life. And if I have a different priest. We have to establish what we mean. When we talk about mental and vocal prayer. Sorry for the rant. I love mental prayer.

Caroline: It’s almost like learning a new language for every order.

Sherry: Exactly, Caroline. It makes it just difficult. Also, in the writings. Visitation Sister: I also think of it as meditation, with or without a written guide.

Sydney: I assume mental and vocal prayer can be done at the same time, such as meditating on the mysteries of the rosary, while saying the individual prayers out loud?

Sherry: Sydney, what you are suggesting is a very high form of mental prayer I find. My husband prays like this actually.

Denise: When God communicates with us mostly it is mentally.

Caroline: Or contemplation, in which we are silent, and Jesus is speaking.

Sherry: My favorite kind of prayer. Contemplation. Well. I actually do love Gospel meditations quite a bit too. For me loud words are often distracting to my “loving on God”.

Visitation Sister: In the old days the Superior read out “points” for meditation. Not sure what that was, though.

Sherry: St. Ignatius does that too – in His Spiritual Exercises.

Caroline: That sounds helpful.

Visitation Sister: Style in those days. Everyone meditated on the same thing at the same time.

Caroline: I think we do that at some meals in our monastery.

Sydney: It could help keep your mind more focused and less tempted to wander.

Visitation Sister: Like shared prayer but they did not share.

Sherry: Oh. I love that. Having a meal … and contemplating on a Gospel passage in silence with points.

Denise: I believe religious sisters, and monks.

Where Are We Going in Prayer?

Question: What is the “goal” of mental prayer? Why is it helpful to affix our minds on a holy mystery to aid in mental prayer?

Sherry: I think – every prayer’s goal is to come closer to God.

Caroline: The goal is to let Christ touch us.

Sherry: Oh, Caroline. That sounds so poetic. Love it. Mental prayer is for me “soul to soul” time with God. Or maybe better. Heart to heart time. I remember times. A while ago though. Where just reading a paragraph in a holy book. Let me fall into mental prayer for quite a while. Nowadays it seems that I have to make some more mental contribution to it. But God still allows me to see His heart.

Rebecca: Sherry, I think that is what Benedictines frequently or usually do at meals, or least some of their meals.

Sherry: Rebecca, I think several monasteries have this “ritual”. I find it so wonderful.

Sydney: Visualizing the events of the Gospels also gives us a deeper understanding of its message.

Sherry: You are right, Sydney. It is amazing how we can experience a Gospel passage differently when we immerse ourselves in it.

Visitation Sister: Also used to be done in choir together.

Sherry: Choir, is the place in a monastery where you meet to pray, right Sister?

Visitation Sister: Yes, Sherry.

Denise: I first came to this chat room as I knew those religious having committed their life to God would have the most to teach.

Sherry: We can learn a lot from those who have committed their lives to prayer.

Caroline: I have visited places that stopped doing it. I was expected to be a brilliant conversationalist, lol.

Sherry: Oh, Caroline. And I am sure you are.

Caroline: Not me!

Sherry: Well. You write very well. That’s for sure.

Caroline: Thank you. I’d probably have been fine if I had been allowed to talk about Jesus. Please pray for me that I can write God’s words.

Sherry: Are you planning a writing project?

Caroline: I was, but I’m stalled.

Sherry: I do remember now.

Caroline: In mediation we focus on something as an aid. In contemplation we abandon ourselves to God in silence.

Sherry: Amen, sister.

Rebecca: This is my own idea but somehow, I think.

Sherry: In meditation, I initiate the heart-to-heart meeting. In contemplation, God initiates, I find.

Rebecca: That is pretty much what I was about to write, Caroline, not from study as such but from practice.

Contemplation is a Silent Mind

Sydney: Contemplation is a silent mind. I think of the story from St. Vianney about the man who just sits in front of the monstrance, face-to-face with Jesus.

Sherry: Quick mental sidestep. Our new church has currently no crucifix. I really struggle with that. BUT I started to realize how wonderful it is to focus on the tabernacle too. A whole new feeling for me during Mass.

Visitation Sister: Meditation can lead to contemplation.

Sherry: Yes, Sister Susan. Meditation can lead to contemplation. In fact. That is built in the rhythm of Lectio Divina. But most people skip the contemplation part.

Sydney: Contemplation is beautiful.

Caroline: Great minds think alike, Rebecca.

Denise: Thank you, Sister.

Rebecca: Meditation has content with a scripture verse and idea a picture perhaps whereas contemplation is more like just being with the one you love whole being once whole being, being united without much effort.

Denise: Helpful, Rebecca!

Sydney: Sherry, I have gone after adoration and knelt in front of the tabernacle. Had some very powerful moments! Sometimes when meditating,

Sherry: Thank you, Sydney. I am sure God met you beautifully. If I remember correctly- St. Francis was not really big on “praying without imagination”. Can you shed some light on this, Sister, maybe?

Visitation Sister: Well, I think he agreed with St Jane that Visitandines at least should make their prayer a simple gaze on God. And he said being a statue in a niche before God or something like that.

Denise: This. Sister, thank you.

Sherry: I love the “gaze on God” prayer – the name itself helps me to pray like this.

Caroline: And He looks back at you.

Sherry: I know. So wonderful to sit under His gaze of love.

Sydney: And it turns into contemplation; it feels like God wants me to be quiet.

Sherry: Yes, Sydney. Like a quieting of the whole being, right?

Sydney: Exactly!

Rebecca: To bask in the SON!

Sherry: That would be a great T-shirt for the summer, Rebecca!

Sydney: Love this, Rebecca!

Become Aware of God Around Us

Question: How can we become more aware of God’s presence?

Visitation Sister: I’d say it is becoming still within and without.

Sherry: Silence and solitude are very helpful.

Denise: Ask the Holy Spirit to come.

Sydney: I am overcome with emotion when He is there. Quietness usually brings it about.

Caroline: To focus on Him, and also to be alert to His presence throughout the day.

Sherry: I have recently found God’s presence in beauty … very new to me.

Rebecca: I think it is easiest either in the presence of5(3 leased Sacrament OR when “soaking in” beauty in any of its presentations. That can lead back to the ONE who made all beauty.

Rebecca: Of the Blessed Sacrament.

Visitation Sister: What is your favorite form of meditation? Does it involve a book, rosary beads, or images?

Sherry: In the time when God spoke so much to me. I describe it as “he drenched my life with silence”.

Sydney: Sherry/Caroline, like noticing the colors of an early morning sky, the flowers, and green grass? He gave us such a beautiful creation!

Caroline: Great art stirs the soul and makes you look up.

Sherry: Yes, Sydney. My soul responds to the beauty of nature so much more recently than it has been in the past. Sometimes I am overwhelmed at the beauty of a flower.

Rebecca: I feel so blessed to live here in the Adirondack mountains.

Sherry: God’s handiwork is very visible all around you Rebecca, right?

Denise: I imagine the Rosary, but not only.

Rebecca: Some neighbors seem to think that even while flowers along the road and trees on my property are there to be plowed down, to me, whatever they see as weeds, I see as gifts of flowers and fruit.

Denise: I spent days in a mountain valley named The Smiles of God. It surely was….

Sherry: Oh, my goodness Denise. That is an amazing name.

Sherry: Rebecca. The way you describe it – reminds me of a mother – who looks at her child. When everyone around just might see a failure. Or wild behavior. A mother always sees the potential –.

Caroline: And each flower, tree and all creatures have their place in the heart of God.

Rebecca: They see them as weeds; I see as gifts.

An Image of Jesus

Question: What do you find helpful in keeping your mind on target during these meditations? How is it possible to “hold one"?

Sherry: Hold oneself in great reverence when speaking to the Divine Majesty without distractions and proud thoughts entering our minds?

Caroline: Practice, practice, practice. And don’t expect to be perfect.

Sherry: Perfect answer, Caroline. I find an image of Jesus also helpful. I find it helpful if I put reverence in my tone. Even in mental prayer. If that makes sense.

Caroline: Yes, remember to Whom we are speaking!

Sherry: When I read the question in the Newsletter. I was like “proud thoughts” during prayer? I struggle more with feelings of inadequacy that distract me.

Visitation Sister: Even if proud thoughts enter, humble oneself at that time. And brush away the distractions like flies.

Caroline: And remember all is grace. Even the desire to pray is GRACE.

Sherry: Such a good reminder, Caroline.

Sydney: If your mind wanders, take note as to why. It may be something God is asking you to tend to.

Sherry: Yes, Sydney. God leads in the unexpected very much too.

Visitation Sister: Yes.

Caroline: Good point, Sydney.

Rebecca: How can one Not! He simply IS all worthy! His word, if we get distracted, can help. But I find that even just tuning over the distractions to HIM, that is, leaving them, sort of as all you have at the moment as a sort of gift can transform even distractions into something good and useful for Salvation. Do not get too upset about distractions. He understands and can put them to good use, e.g., I’m teaching you something more about yourself.

Visitation Sister: Great advice!

Sydney: Beautiful, Rebecca!

Denise: Everything is grace. Lessons from the Visitines ??.

Sherry: Wonderful, Rebecca! I hear your passion and your experience in it!

Caroline: We lift each other up as friends.

Rebecca: Sydney, I think you said it better than I did. Same general idea.

Sherry: Oh ladies. I have to say it. I feel so blessed. To be surrounded with so many women here who are so dedicated to love God. What a treasure.

Visitation Sister: Yes, real authentic spiritual women and I am going to miss you all but for sure I won’t forget, and you will be in my heart and prayers.

Caroline: And we can revive a tradition and write letters to each other.

Visitation Sister: Yes, that too.

Sherry: I just said the same. I feel so blessed. To be surrounded by such dedicated women. Who live to love God. You are all a treasure to me.

If you enjoyed this article, why not join us at our Living Jesus Chat Room of the Visitation Sisters. Join us at 7:30 p.m. ET each Sunday! We read a passage of St. Francis de Sales and then gather great insights and sharing!