What Happens When You Reach the Gates of Heaven?

What Happens When You Reach the Gates of Heaven?

By Dr. Michael J. Baglino, Ed. D.

As life on this planet would have it, three elderly gentlemen from Boca Raton, FL all passed away at approximately the same time.  Boca, as it is referred to by locals, is a rather upscale suburban community approximately 35 miles north of Miami.  It is often said that anyone who is anybody among the high jet-setting and international trend-setting cultures lives in Boca, most likely their second home.   

The three gentlemen were actually two Catholic Italians [Carmine and Antonio] and one Jewish American fellow [Ira]. All three lived rather comfortably. Because of the time proximity of their deaths, the gentlemen met at the same hour just before the gates of heaven.  They were a little anxious as they approached the gates and none other than St. Peter was there to greet them.  It was a magnificent sight as St. Peter greeted all three. "Fellas, you made it!  You are all going to enter these pearly gates; however, before you do so, you must answer one question, and you must answer it truthfully."  He continued, “Now we know the truth, but it is up to you to make sure each of you replies honestly.”  Continuing, “Your answer will determine what kind of car you’ll drive while up here.”

Matthew 7:21
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father.” 

St. Peter further explained to them that cars were necessary as there was so much space available,  and it made travel so much easier for all saints.  A big place.  Now how they answered would determine just what kind of automobile it would be.   There were so many styles and classes of automobiles that were distributed accordingly. They agreed and stepped forward one at a time.  First was Carmine. 

Matthew 18:3
“And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’” 

St. Peter assured Carmine he would pass through these gates, but he had to answer this one question.  “Agreed,” again said Carmine.  The time had arrived.  “Well then, did you ever commit adultery?”

 “Whoa!” It sure took him back.  “Well, actually, yes, St. Peter.  When, at the beginning of our marriage, I was rather immature, and my eyes sure did veer away from my wife.  Still, immaturity is no excuse, but I did realize my sins and repented as a few years passed on.”

 “We know this is true Carmine, and for your honest answer we are going to assign to you a 2025 Chevy Malibu.  You are on your way.” replied St. Peter.

Antonio then approached St. Peter and also rather anxious at this meeting.  St. Peter also assured Antonio he would pass through these gates, but he had to answer this one question.  “Agreed,” again said Antonio.  “Well then, did you ever commit adultery?”

“Whew! Can’t get anything passed. Yeah, I never let my inhibitions get in the way of pleasure, especially since I was an entertainer and often away from home. But I did not want to jeopardize my marriage and my children’s lives, so I put a stop to it after but a few years.  I was so sorry, actually, as I love my wife and kids.”

“We know this is true Antonio, and for your honest answer we are going to assign to you a 2025 Honda Civic. You are on your way.” replied St. Peter.

Finally, Ira approached St. Peter, not sure of what he was about to encounter.  St. Peter also assured Ira he would pass through these gates, but he had to answer this one question.  “Agreed,” again said Ira, “Shoot”.  “Well then, did you ever commit adultery?”

“Never!  Never so much as looked at another woman!  I loved my wife!  I gave her everything! I was totally devoted to her and supported her in every facet of her life for over 50 years - physically,  materially, spiritually!”

“Wonderful, and we know this is true, Ira, and for your honest answer, we are going to assign you a Jaguar, top of the line.  “You are on your way.” replied St. Peter. 

Luke 23:43
“Jesus answered him, ‘Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.’”

Ephesians 2:8-9
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” 

Ecstatic all, and about 3 months later by happenstance, they met at one of those big intersections known to intermittently appear throughout the heavens.  Upon recognizing their friends, Carmine [in his Chevy Malibu] and Antonio [in his Honda Civic] greeted each other and Ira with grins, cheers, and applause above and beyond.  Ira on the other hand was not so full of glee.  In fact he was sobbing.   

“What’s the matter Ira?  It is great up here.  We are enjoying  it all so much, worshipping God and doing his work.  How wonderful it all is!” they shouted.  

“Not for me.  I just saw my wife.”

Perplexed, Carmine responded, “Well all the more you should be happy.  What a surprise that must have been!”

Antonio joined in.  “Thrills upon thrills!”

Ira responded, “Yes, but she’s driving a ‘54 Nash Rambler.”

Now this story may not follow the Magisterium's view of heaven, but I was just a little tired of being so serious.  I’m sure Pope Leo won’t mind. 

Catechism of the Catholic Church 1023:  “Those who die in God’s grace and friendship and are perfectly purified live for ever with Christ.  They are like God for ever, for they see him as he is, face to face.” 

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Recommended Sources:

 Original story above - Anonymous

And,

Baglino, Michael J.  [2022] More from a Florida Catholic. New York: Penguin Writers.

Tolstoy, Leo. [2000]  Divine and Human: And Other Stories.  Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House.