How to pray and how not to pray.

HOW TO PRAY AND NOT TO PRAY

Lk. 18:9-14

The ways in which some people express themselves in Confession remind me of how the Pharisee and the tax collector prayed in the temple.  Some come into the confessional and list the wonderful things they do, while never missing Mass nor their morning and night prayers, never doing any harm to their neighbour, and not swearing.  To them I have to say, 'Do you know you haven’t told me one sin and so there is nothing for me to absolve.'  I wonder why they have come to Confession! 

Other people know and admit to being sinners who realise how much God loves them and how badly they have repaid Him for all His kindness.  From them there is a sincere outpouring of all their sins towards God and their neighbour.  They are truly contrite and beg God’s forgiveness. 

For a moment let us look at the way the Pharisee and the tax collector prayed.  Jesus described the Pharisee as the person who considered himself righteous and despised some of his fellow men.  The Pharisee reminds me of little Jack Horner who said, 'What a good boy am I?'  Jesus tells us that what the Pharisee said was no prayer at all.  He did not pray to God, but to himself.  He began by reminding himself of all the good things he did.  Then he looked down the temple and his eye caught the tax collector praying - and made the big mistake of comparing himself with others.

If ever we want to make comparisons, we have to compare ourselves with God, and then we find we are always wanting because we can never reach His standards.  In the performance of our duties we can always find that we do better than some people, but are we doing the best that we can?

What the Pharisee did was to make a speech of self-congratulations.  In his supposed prayer he did mention God, but then dwells on himself.  When he notices the tax collector, he dismisses him as a worthless figure against whom he can shine.

He also mentions groups of people like extortioners and adulterers.  Instead of praying for them to be better he again compares himself with them and regards them with disgust.  In saying all the wonderful things he does his intention is to remind God that he goes beyond the requirements of the law by doing extra works.  Jesus concluded that after this session of self-praise he did not go home justified.  In other words, he had not made his peace with God nor his neighbours.

Now let us look at how the tax collector prayed.  He knew he was a sinner and needed to make a lot of improvement in his life.  The moment he came into the house of God he felt so unworthy that he stayed at the back.  He was overwhelmed with the goodness, and above all the mercy of God, that he couldn’t even raise his eyes to Heaven.  He could only beat his breast and say with all the sorrow in his heart, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”  In this short prayer he avoided any kind of comparison with other people.  He is aware, of course, that there are many who are better than himself and some who are worse, but he looks only at himself and acknowledges he is a sinner.   He is so conscious that God is merciful and begs for His mercy.  He knows the mercy of God can take away all his sins.  Jesus tells us that this man went home at rights with God and his neighbour.  He was justified and the Pharisee was not.

Since I compared the prayers of the Pharisee and tax collector to what I hear in Confession there are one or two observations, as a confessor, I would like to make.  We should go to Confession to confess our sins.  All mortal sins have to be mentioned, and if we can remember, the number of times we have committed them.  We must make ourselves clear so that the priest has no need to ask questions.  But sometimes I find it necessary. 

People might say they have missed Mass on Sunday but, if asked why, they will explain they had the flu and just could not get out of bed.  In these circumstances no sin was committed and the missed Mass should not be mentioned.  In fact, if they did go to church with flu, they should say, 'Father, on Sunday I was most uncharitable:  I went to Church when I had the flu and I must have spread my germs to many of the people there.'

If a person mentions in Confession that he or she has stolen something, that is not enough information for the priest.  They have to say what they stole and from whom but without mentioning names, and that they intend to give it back without lessening their good name.  The gravity of the sin is different if they stole from a pensioner or a rich man, and whether it was 50p or a large sum.  It is all stealing.  They have to mention that they intend to give back what they have stolen, or the value of it. This is because the sin can only be forgiven if they return stolen goods.  Do not be like the man who went to confession and said, 'I stole a rope' - and never mentioned there was a donkey at the end of it!  We must tell the whole truth.

The priest has to ask questions, too, if someone merely says, 'I was impure' because that sin can take different forms.  It could be in thought, word of deed.  It could be committed alone or with another person.  It could be with the same sex or another.  It could be with a single, married or even a consecrated person.   They are all different sins.  Just tell the truth without going into details:  state whether you are single, married or a consecrated person, what sin was committed and with whom, and how many times.

Heavenly Father whenever we go to Confession may we aim to be like the tax collector, conscious of God's great love and mercy, so that we may be enabled to go home justified and at peace with You and our neighbour.

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