How Can Catholics Be More Hospitable?

Before you say this is a very controversial topic, or ask why I’m promoting another church, think again. I’ve found many who question their belonging in the Catholic Church, many, including myself. It seems that at some point in our lives, we go through a phase of doubt. Sure, we have God, and the sacraments, but we’re human, and because we’re human, we need so much more than that. We need human connection. We need community. We need friends. We need a spiritual family whom we can pray with often. Without appealing to our humanity in the physical and emotional sense, and not just in the spiritual sense of having the fullness of Truth in the Catholic Church, it can put an extra, unnecessary weight on us as Catholics to maintain our faith. Here’s why…

“What your body does, your soul will follow”.

These are the words of my parish priest back home in the UK. He always told us that the Catholic Church appealed to our five senses – we see the consecration of the Eucharist in the Mass, we hear the priest telling us it’s over and to move on in confession, as well as the bells in church, we smell the incense at the altar, and we receive the Eucharist physically, as the real presence of Jesus (that counts as taste and touch). Everything involves us as whole beings, even the standing, sitting, kneeling, sign ourselves with the cross, blessing ourselves with holy water etc. It all appeals to our very humanity.

Therefore, allow me to share with you some of the experiences I have had with Catholic churches around the world, followed by suggestions on how we could become a more hospitable church.

Experience 1. You can walk in alone, into total silence, and look for a seat alone, because a family or some young people have reserved the seats near them for each other/friends. Thus, you may be sitting entirely alone, or else next to a stranger who will likely ignore your presence for not knowing you.

Suggestion: If you see someone new or someone you don’t know, smile at them and say hi. Try to welcome them and maybe even ask how they are, but judge by their body language if they’d be open to that.

Experience 2. You have to find the bulletin by yourself and figure out what’s going on. There appears to be nobody to welcome you until the end of Mass. In the meantime, you could be totally lost.

Suggestion: I’ve been to other churches where the ushers stand at the doors to greet people and hand them a copy of the bulletin. A smile and a welcome is always a good way to make people feel at home. It also saves looking for the stand of bulletins and papers as they are placed differently in each church.

Experience 3. If you’re not a Catholic and you don’t receive communion, or if you are a Catholic and are not receiving communion for whatever reason, you seem to get people staring at you like it’s a crime or you’re a spy in the church trying to steal something.

Suggestion: “Keep both eyes on God, not one on God and one on your neighbour”. These words are found in “Follow the Lamb” (“Wherever He Goes” – English Version) by Fr Marie-Dominique Philippe CSJ (Community of St John). I only noticed that people were looking and making comments because they came to me and told me they noticed I hadn’t been receiving communion and asked me why – that was when I wasn’t Catholic yet. However, I know it still goes on, so I thought I’d mention it.

Experience 4. After Mass, people only seem to greet those they know/are their friends. Sometimes people you know also don’t bother to greet you. It can seem very lonely for those who don’t find it easily to socialise around or are shy. They may need help, but with the reactions of others, they may be too scared to ask.

Say hi to everyone around you. Smile, even fellowship with them, if you have the time. One thing I love about some of the Protestant Churches I visited is that people aren’t in a rush to go home. They have time for you to have a coffee or even dinner, and would even go out of their way to welcome you and talk to you about the faith. I think it’s something we should really cultivate, to meet up outside of church to just have a chat about our faith, spiritual issues, and make new friends. Also, try to really welcome and talk to those who are new or visiting. You never know what impact you could make in their lives.

So, what am I really trying to say?

We’re all different, made unique as children of God. However, being human, we need the physical relationships to keep us going. We need the community too. That’s why, in Matthew 18:20, it says, “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them”. God is always with us, but more so when we are in community. Therefore, let us be the community that God made us to be. Let us be friends, and be there for each other, and pray for and with each other.