Timeless Heaven
November 20, 2016 - was the Solemnity of Christ the King, end of the Liturgical Year, the Year of Mercy came to an end, and the Holy Doors were closed until the next Jubilee Year!
At Sunday Mass, celebrating the Solemnity of Christ the King, we heard the gospel from Luke, the story of the criminals crucified on either side of Jesus. During the homily Father Adam pointed out two shadows on the wall behind him. The shadows reflected our large crucifix which hangs above the altar, a life size image of Jesus on the cross. There were no shadows of the crucifix before the recent renovation of our 150 year old church. Before being renovated, our crucifix was fixed to the back wall of sanctuary.
Now one of the criminals hanging there reviled Jesus, saying,“Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us.” Luke 23:39
I gasped when Father pointed these shadows out to us. I hadn’t noticed them before although I had gazed at the crucifix several times since our church was reopened. This thought came to me, “another reminder of God’s great mercy.” Jesus remember me! Father reassured the congregation that Christ will not forget us.
The other, however, rebuking him, said in reply,“Have you no fear of God,for you are subject to the same condemnation? And indeed, we have been condemned justly,for the sentence we received corresponds to our crimes, but this man has done nothing criminal.” Luke 23:40-41
I was with my mother-in-law praying with her and holding her hand when she died less than a month ago. When Mom was placed in a nursing home after living with me and my husband Wayne for six years, I worried about her. I was so afraid she would die alone. Now my husband’s mother had been in this nursing home for a year and I believed she was going to die soon. Although her vital signs were okay she had lost her hearty appetite. When I hugged her I felt her bony shoulders and her face looked too lean. She was losing weight. She had to be encouraged to eat and take at least a few sips of water.
Also Mom was now confused. She thought she was in the hospital but didn’t know why. She wanted to go home. But finally after a few days of seeing me at her bedside when she fell asleep and saw that I was still here when she awoke in the morning the questions stopped and she was mostly quiet.
For so long I had been afraid she would die alone in this place that never sleeps, as caregiving staff make their rounds and answer calls, as aging restless men and women toss and turn and cry out in the night. So I stayed with her. I spent the past five days and nights with Mom before she died as Wayne came and went. The three of us prayed the rosary together. So many times in the past, Wayne and I witnessed Mom make a miraculous comeback from what seemed like certain death but in my heart I knew this time was different.
Father visited Mom and administered the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick.1 Mom lived a life of faith, she lived the gospel. She was a wonderful example of a true Christian. When Father anointed her, I saw this as a final assurance of heaven. I was reassured knowing Mom was ready to be received into the kingdom of God.
Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Luke 23:42
Her whole life had been leading to this. God wills heaven for us all.
My purpose now was to do whatever I could for Mom in her last days. I understood that even if Mom died while I was sleeping in the chair next to her, she would not have died alone. I prayed that she would have a peaceful death but I wasn’t too worried about this. Mom believed in the promises of Jesus and His Holy Mother2. I believed Mom would be given a peaceful death.
A few weeks after Mom died, I attended a retreat on the works of mercy. There were two presenters, Sister Joetta Huelsmann and Patrick Cleary-Burns. They each covered all of the works of mercy, complimenting each other nicely. Sister had lists of information and facts on each work of mercy giving specific examples while Patrick spoke on the works of mercy more reflectively. They both spoke of giving mercy and receiving mercy. I was loving every minute. Once I burst out, “We need another year of Mercy! There’s so much to know!” Sister reminded me that every year is a year of mercy. “But will we remember?” I speculated.
Jesus gave me a little bitterness the day Mom died but at the time I thought it was the work of the devil. I forget that I asked Jesus to break my heart every day and Jesus breaks my heart every day without fail.
I stayed at Mom’s bedside most of time. I didn’t want to leave her even to go to the restroom. I had waited until I urgently needed to go. The key to the restroom hangs at the front desk. I was hurrying to get the key when the lady that manages the desk came up to me and asked about Mom. I answered, “Mom isn’t doing well. She shook her head and said “I hate to see her suffer.” I agreed even though I didn’t know if Mom was suffering or not. Mom didn’t appear to be suffering. I wanted to just get the key but then she said, “They treat dogs better than people.” All I could say was, “really?” “Oh yes,” she answered, “At least they put dogs out of their misery.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Mom was dying and this lady seemed to be telling me Mom should be put to sleep like an animal. I could see the key to the restroom, but the lady was still talking to me. She told me her friend committed suicide because she was suffering from Cancer. I told her I was sorry. She responded a little too loudly, “If you saw how much she suffered you’d understand!” I said, “I don’t agree. God will take Mom when it’s her time.” I stepped around the lady and got the key. I was upset. I wanted to express my anger but Jesus said no.
I include this story not to condemn someone for their false understanding of the true meaning of faith in God but to remind readers that well-meaning people can be insensitive in these situations. I had to remind myself that my feelings didn't matter. Not all was perfect. Mom’s roommate was cranky and unhappy that I was in the room so much. She wanted the shades closed when I wanted Mom to get some natural light and so on. The administrator made plans to have Mom moved to a private room later that day. This was not to be. It didn’t matter. Taking care of Mom was all that was important to me.
Father’s homily at the Solemnity of Christ the King, he spoke of the good thief and the bad thief. Father pointed out that when the bad thief spoke out to Jesus while hanging on the cross these might have been the last words Jesus heard before He died. But the good thief spoke words of faith, belief and trust in Our Lord. I’m grateful that Jesus kept me calm that day. As I was being merciful to Mom, I was on the receiving end of Mercy as well. At the time, I didn’t think of it this way but I was more aware of this after attending the retreat on Mercy. Certain any this comfort was part of God’s plan for me, to help me deal with Mom’s death.
Later that day, after I had forgotten the incident with the lady at the front desk I was back with Mom where I wanted to be. By now, Mom had quit eating completely and would only take tiny sips of water from a small plastic spoon. We said our daily rosary together. Wayne had to go home and take care of some things. I sat on the bed as Mom lay with the head of her bed raised a little. I opened my book of Catholic Prayers. I started praying the Litanies3. We prayed the Litany to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I could see Mom’s lips moving, “have mercy on us.” The Litany to the Blessed Virgin Mary. The Litany of the Saints. I know Mom remembered to say, “Pray for us” over and over. The Litany to the Precious Blood of Jesus. All were so beautiful. Mom was awake. She looked very peaceful.
I glanced through the book trying to decide what else to pray. Then I turned to look at the clock on the wall4. I was surprised at the time. I told Mom it was 3 o’clock, time to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. She nodded. I picked up her rosary and put it back in her hand. I made the sign of the cross and started to pray the chaplet. Again I could see Mom’s lips moving. She seemed to be looking at me very intently, but after a while she was no longer moving her lips. I continued the chaplet. Her breathing was steady. Now she appeared to be looking into space, not at me. I put my face close to hers. I said, “Mom can you see me? Mom? Mom?” I thought, “I think she’s gone” even though she was still breathing. I was ending the chaplet when Mom took her last breath.
He replied to him,“Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” Luke 23:43
This is the sign Jesus gave me, this beautiful sign, a sign of mercy and love. Jesus reminded me to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet and then He took Mom to heaven.
It seems Mom’s dying would be enough to break my heart, but it did not. I cried tears of joy. I called Wayne. He was just 10 minutes away. The funeral home was an hour away so Wayne and I sat by her bed, talking, remembering Mom until they arrived to take her body away.
This story is a tribute to a faithful Christian women. At her funeral Father Bert told us she lived the Beatitudes. I had to agree. Mom was an example for me. She had a lot of energy. Sometimes more than I di,d even though she was 30 years older than me. She was kind and generous. Very active in the Church. She did all those silent jobs for her parish that most of us take for granted, such as preparing for Mass. Mom even grew gladiolas in her garden so she could make sprays of flowers for the altar. The bulbs had to be dug up replanted every year, such was her faith in God, always new, always growing, year after year.
Except from St Faustina’s diary, on the Divine Mercy promises of Jesus - Tell them no soul that has called upon my mercy has been disappointed or brought to shame. I delight particularly in a soul that has placed its trust in My goodness. Write that when they say this chaplet in the presence of the dying, I will stand between My Father and the dying person, not as the just Judge but as the merciful Savior” (Diary, 1541).
“I desire that this mercy will flow out upon the whole world through your heart. Let no one who approaches you go away without that trust in My mercy, which I so ardently desire for souls. Pray as much as you can for the dying. By your entreaties, obtain for them trust in My mercy, because they have most need of trust, and have it the least” (Diary, 1777).