Many times in our lives we see more and more parents talking to their children, eye ball to eye ball, and saying “Look at me.” The parent wants the child’s full attention; so that they know that the child is hearing what they are saying to them. The parent wants the child to know how important the words are that they are speaking and they want to be sure that the child is listening. “Look at Me.”
Today at Mass, looking at the stain glass window of Jesus, the Good Shepherd: I hear the words in my heart—“Look at Me.” I listened for I knew what Jesus was referring to.
In my life there are many things happening as I age, and many concerns for my family as they raise their own families. Over Thanksgiving, my inner child was triggered many times, as memories of my own childhood and family life came to the surface.
In my granddaughter, I saw the child that was spoiled, loud and angry and fearful of being rejected by the older siblings, and was fussed at by a father who was tired and wanted QUIET in the home when he came home from work, and there was more work for him waiting as chores needed to be done.
In my children, I saw different stages of my own life as I matured, and faced different struggles. I was reminded of struggles when dating and developing wisdom there, and struggles of married life, making ends meet and raising those 5 living children. Watching them grow and go through emotional hurts and pains of their own, I was reminded of our poor parenting skills and the ripple down effect of our own bad choices or behaviors. So during the course of the Thanksgiving visit with the four families—there were many times tears, concerns and anxiety rose to the surface, and I noticed a discomfort in my chest and my heart beating irregularly. I made the connection and I was given the Wisdom to know why it was so important that I be reminded of past hurts and fears. Inner healing can only come through eruptions of that ‘pus’ within.
Coming home, I gave thanks for the insight of the whys and how important it was that these revelations of 'why’ you are dealing with anxiety of late as you age. I also saw the importance of the need for healing of those areas, as I enter into doors being opened for my talents and giftedness to be used on a 'bigger stage.' God is leading me to be a late bloomer and setting it up for the total gift of ME to be shared with the world. As this unfolds, God needs to be in complete control, and not my emotions or fears. I am to be used for His honor and glory--not mine.
So, it was that the words came this morning---“Look at Me.”
My Lord wanted me to keep my eyes on Him, and all He has taught and remember all of His promises too.
“Look at Me, when any fears, anxieties, or doubts come your way.”
“Look at Me, when you are feeling insecurities and whispers of negative lies creep in.”
“Look at Me, and trust Me to do what is best for you in all the areas of your life.”
“Look at Me and know how much you are loved by the Perfect Love that casts out all fear."
"How much do you want to be healthy again? How much do you want to serve me? How much do you want to go forth among the people and spread hope, love and the Good News that nothing is impossible with God. That message that all people everywhere are special, gifted, called and chosen? Are you really willing to do as I say and obey what I speak to you?"
Like Mary, I say 'yes,' but I also say "help me Lord, for I know how human I am."
"Look at Me!”