What about unexpected Burdens in Love and Marriage?

What about unexpected Burdens in Love and Marriage?

Eileen Renders

There are not many stations in life that can offer more joy and anticipation in life than love and marriage. We are gifted with a partner for life. Some of us are gifted with children to raise and love, expanding our family and fulfilling God’s desire. Life is good, and we are feeling fulfilled.

Time, however, and how it evolves, cannot be anticipated.

In the words of Bishop J Fulton Sheen’s writings in his book “Go to Heaven,” he writes, “What if the husband becomes an alcoholic or unfaithful or beats his wife and children?”  What if the wife becomes nagging or unfaithful, or neglects her children? Suppose the promise of marriage “for better or worse” turns out for the worse; suppose either husband or wife becomes a chronic invalid, or develops antisocial characteristics. In such cases, no carnal love can save it, particularly if the other party becomes undeserving. But when these lower loves break down, Christian love steps in to suggest that the other person is to be regarded as a gift of God. Most of God’s gifts are sweet; a few of them, however, are bitter. But whether that other person be bitter or sweet, sick or well, young or old, he or she is still a gift of God, for whom the other partner must sacrifice himself or herself. Selfish love would seek to get rid of the other person because he or she is a burden.

Christian love takes on the burden, in obedience to the divine command: “Bear the burden, in obedience to the divine command: “Bear the burden of one another’s failings; then you will be fulfilling the law of Christ” (Gal 6:2).  And if it be objected that God never intended that anyone should live under such difficulties, the answer very flatly is that He does. “If any man has a mind my way, let him renounce self, and take up his cross, and follow me. The man who tries to save his life shall lose it; it is the man who loses his life for my sake that will secure it.” (Mt 16:24, 25).

What sickness is to an individual, an unhappy marriage may be to a couple: a trial sent by God, and many of our spiritual capacities would be undeveloped. As the Holy Word of God tells us: “We are confident even over our afflictions, knowing well that affliction gives rise to endurance, and endurance gives proof of our faith, and a proved faith gives ground for hope. Nor does this hope delude us; the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom we have received” (Rom 5:3-5).

My notes:  Because the above example of the commitment to marriage can become burdensome, it serves to remind us of the importance and value of being of age, strong in our faith, and accepting of exactly “for better or for worse” when couples stand at the altar before Christ and commit to the vows of marriage.  

Note:  I have always enjoyed listening to Bishop Sheen’s TV Show; he was a very holy man. I am happy he is on his way to Canonization. Having said that, although this message was meant to be shared for your reading, I must disagree with remaining in a marriage where there is physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse that harms a spouse, and possibly children. We need to extend understanding, encouragement, and assistance, but when a spouse refuses all options toward healing and recovery, separation is a reasonable

Choice.