Beware the spiritual abuse

Before we get started, go here to help me out, Help with medical bills, and please, check out my latest on Locals; Let's stop calling things conservative that aren't, and please, make sure you read my previous article; On Saints and Sparrows
So, I feel like I have to talk about this. I want y'all to know that there are many priests that are good, holy people. But, spiritual abuse is a real thing. I feel like I should give a definition, what I think, is an example of spiritual abuse, here's a link, The Place Where You Stand is Holy Ground, and here's some of the definition.
“Spiritual abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. It is characterised by a systematic pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour in a religious context. Spiritual abuse can have a deeply damaging impact on those who experience it. This abuse may include: manipulation and exploitation, enforced accountability, censorship of decision making, requirements for secrecy and silence, coercion to conform, control through the use of sacred texts or teaching, requirement of obedience to the abuser, the suggestion that the abuser has a “divine” position, isolation as a means of punishment, and superiority and elitism (Oakley et al., 2018, p. 151). “
Also, this;
Spiritual abuse in the Catholic context is the misuse of spiritual authority that controls the victim to the point that the abuser, taking the place of God, obstructs or nullifies the victim’s spiritual freedom. This type of abuse is perpetrated by an individual or a system supported by the Church as trustworthy. Hence, it always has an ecclesial dimension. This kind of abuse can harm the person at the spiritual, psychological, and physical levels (Fernández, 2022, p. 9).
This past Sunday, my youngest sister, went to the Spanish Mass, which she does relatively regularly, was told to turn her phone off, before Mass.
Understandable, although, I have to point out that there are useful apps on your phone for prayers that you might not have memorized, and, let's not forget about the Daily Mass readings,Daily Readings.
What I do care about, though, is, 1) Our pastor tried to (apparently) take her phone (my sister is a young adult, not a child), and, 2) Questioning my sister about why she's at the Spanish Mass.
He was also asking her if she could understand it.
I don't speak Spanish, and I CAN understand it. Also, since he seems to be implying to my sister that she doesn't look like she belongs, it's worth noting that Mexico is one of the most diverse countries on earth.
You
Can't
Look
Hispanic.
Hispanic is a reference to the Spanish language, not so much ancestry. And my family in Mexico is Jewish. Wow, now this seems anti-Semitic. Also, our pastor lived in South America, he's well aware that there's no Hispanic “look”.
But that's not really the issue. The issue is the fact that he thinks that someone whom looks out of place (wait until he finds out that one of the lectors at the Spanish Mass as Saint Teresa's is black), to him, doesn't “belong” there.
That IS racism.
There is NOTHING in canon law that says you HAVE to go to Mass in your native language. Let's go back to what Fernandez said (or is the fact that he looks like this, Samuel Fernández, and is Hispanic, a problem for my pastor)?
“Spiritual abuse in the Catholic context is the misuse of spiritual authority that controls the victim to the point that the abuser, taking the place of God, obstructs or nullifies the victim’s spiritual freedom.”, reaching to take my sister's phone, would be included under that. He may have the authority to tell my sister to turn her phone off, he does not, however, have the right to tell her which Mass to go to.
And finally, let's look at Oakley et al.s, definition, because there is one thing that stands out to me, specifically.
“ This abuse may include: manipulation and exploitation, enforced accountability, censorship of decision making, requirements for secrecy and silence, coercion to conform, control through the use of sacred texts or teaching, requirement of obedience to the abuser, the suggestion that the abuser has a “divine” position, isolation as a means of punishment, and superiority and elitism”
I've thought before, that my pastor may be guilty of clericalism. And now, I think that even more. His elitism, says that my sister isn't Hispanic enough to go to Spanish Mass (even though she has family in Mexico and he's Anglo).
He has the authority to tell her to turn off her phone. What he doesn't have is the authority to try to take it or question why she is at the Spanish Mass.
Why is he there?
Lest I forget, it's also worth noting, that he failed to tell my sister WHY she should turn off her phone.
“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know what we who will will be judged with greater strictness”. (James 3:1)
“About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food”. (Hebrews 5:11-12).

*All verses from ESV Catholic Edition with Deuterocanonical Books, Copyright 2017 by Crossway.