When I close my eyes

    When I close my eyes, I see you my Jesus. But too often I see you crucified. Wearing the Crown of Thorns with blood trickling into your precious eyes. Sad and grasping for air. It's my woe, knowing I was part of your suffering because of my sins. Oh my wretched sins! I want to see You Glorified when I close my eyes. Standing before me with Light and Peace. With outstretched arms reaching for me. You opened your arms in embrace to me on the cross. Why is this thought, this image, not enough for me to become changed? To control my habitual sins? I love you my Jesus. But I become a hypocrite and all I believe. With my sins weighing my soul down with sorrow and embarrassment at the thought of letting you down again. I think of Mary, with downcast eyes and tears in Her eyes. Why is this not enough? 

     Oh foolish Pride. I must always remember, that I am Your servant and You are my Master. Purify me. Change me, my Savior. I long for You to stay within my heart. But I chase you away in my weakness. Help me this day my Jesus. Do not allow me to forget that savage image of your death and everything You did for me and still do. Even though I am so undeserving. I'm sorry my Jesus, have mercy on me a sinner. May I never ever be ungrateful another moment. 

     I want to see you Jesus. I want to see You when I close my eyes. In all your Glory. I want to see Your smile. I want to feel Your loving embrace. Don't leave me Jesus. Because you know what happens when you do. Padre Pio and all of you Beloved Saints of Heaven. All of you Holy Souls in Purgatory. Intercede for me. This day and always. In Jesus Christ's Holy Name , I ask this of you. Amen