How are we to handle disordered individuals as Catholics?

The terms “narcissism” and “psychopathy” have been in the spotlight in our culture for quite some time, probably due to increased social media use and readily available information about such disorders on the internet.

There is no question that online environments may amplify narcissistic behavior and facilitate psychopathic manipulation.  It is quite easy to hide behind the cloak of an online presence and attack unsuspecting individuals.

Personally, I am noticing more narcissistic and psychopathic behavior overall, in all kinds of people. Psychopathy is a spectrum, with narcissism at the bottom of the spectrum.  You do not have to be a killer to be a psychopath.  There are plenty who function normally to onlookers, but are masking these traits, which may be mild to severe.  Personality disordered individuals know how to mirror you, and will do so to manipulate you into bonding with them.  In my opinion, the only personality disorder that can be managed effectively is Borderline Personality Disorder.  All others have a history of being fixed in the person, and unchangeable.

I am trained in behavior, and I am constantly making behavioral determinations in my head when meeting new people, having conversations, and engaged in mundane daily tasks when others are involved.  At times I wish I would not do this, but then again, I remind myself that I could be saving my family and I a lot of trouble by limiting who I allow to have access to me-- by keeping my radar on at all times. 

I believe it is essential for every man, woman and child to understand who is in their midst. Take note I wrote “understand”, not “know”.  Two very different ways of thinking.

 In your quest for knowledge, I highly encourage the reader to conduct research on personality disorders, most especially, “Cluster B” disorders.  More information can be found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-- the DSM-5-TR (Text Revision), which was published in 2022.  Also, I will be writing more articles here on Catholic365 about such topics.

I came up with a small list on how to handle such individuals when you come to the truth about them, based on Scripture. You can find other examples on how Jesus treated disordered individuals.  Ask yourself if Our Lord would agree in the manner which you deal with such people.   Take into consideration the person’s role in your life, and adjust your interactions accordingly: 

1)   “Give not that which is holy to dogs; neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest perhaps they trample them under their feet, and turning upon you, they tear you.” —Matthew 7:6

Do not give your energy nor best parts of yourself to this person, as you are pearl of great price in God’s eyes!

2)   “But let your speech be yea, yea: no, no: and that which is over and above these, is of evil.”—Matthew 5:37

No is a full sentence.  And so is yes.  No explanations needed.  The less, the better.  How someone accepts your “no” is very telling.

3)  “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.”—Ephesians 5:11

You are not required to be this person’s friend or confidant.  You can forgive and love someone without a relationship or ever seeing that person again.

4)  “It is an honor for a man to separate himself from quarrels: but all fools are meddling with reproaches.”—Proverbs 20:3

Keep your distance to those who operate with an adversarial and oppositional spirit, leaving you agitated, traumatized and in a fog.  You will know them by the discord they leave in their wake.

5)  “Fear them not: for the Lord your God will fight for you.”—Deuteronomy 3:22

Disordered people interact through manipulation only.  Don’t be deceived. Allow God to take over and do what you cannot do.