Getting Married? Get Ready to Suffer!
The other day, I imagined Bilbo deep in the treasure chambers of Erebor (Lonely Mountain) trying to choose his hard earned share to take home with him. A peculiar thought, but picturing Bilbo struggling to decide what he was going to take resembles exactly how I feel when I am looking at riches of the Church. Like the treasure of Erebor, the treasure of the Church is without measure for the body and soul. At times I am so overwhelmed with all its wealth that I find myself struggling to choose what I want to take with me while I am on my life’s pilgrimage to our Lord’s Kingdom. The reader may feel that this is a slightly wacky thing to think about, but I find it so wonderful to ponder, and that is exactly what I did. Again, the reader may say, “What is there to ponder? Of course the gold or jewels that you would pick are the Sacraments, Holy Mass, Holy Scripture and the traditions of the Church.” My response, OF COURSE THEY ARE, and they are most definitely on my list, but give me a moment to explain here. The Sacraments for example, I cannot be a priest and a married man at the same time. Which one do I choose? Those are two very distinct jewels to choose from! In regards to other Sacraments. How often do I go to confession? Do I go to Mass everyday to receive the Eucharist? Pausing on the Sacraments for a moment because there is so much abundance there. What about the Bible? Holy Scripture is a whole mountain of wealth in itself. One could read and study just the Psalms for the rest of their life for example, and still not be close in extracting all the value that they possess. In regards to tradition. I married a woman from Mexico, and I can tell the reader that there are more traditions than one could possibly imagine to celebrate. So again, I ask; what do I choose? I have not even mentioned all that has been written by our Saints. I could spend a lifetime studying the 8 million words of St. Thomas Aquinas. How about all the prayers? There is not enough time in the day to recite them all. There is so much, but I believe after my mediation, I have found three essential jewels for the reader to select from the vast treasure of the Church, and this is what I like to share in this article.
Before I discuss these jewels, I want to point out that all of us are different and so of course my experience with God is going to be different from the reader’s experience. For example, someone may find that doing one hour of adoration a week is fulfilling for them, but someone else may faithfully pray the Night Adoration once a month which starts at 7pm at night and goes until 7am the next morning. Now does this mean that the person who does one hour of adoration is less pleasing to God than the person who goes and prays twelve hours?This is not for me to judge nor anyone else. This is between God and each and every one of us. The reason I bring this point up is because it is important for the reader to be very conscious of their own personal efforts, abilities, and desire to want to grow in their faith. A person who does adoration for an hour a week could do it with more love and devotion than the person who does twelve hours straight through the night, and therefore, one hour of adoration can be more pleasing for God. So before really knowing and reflecting on these three jewels, I recommend that the reader really know themself by doing an examination of consciousness and meditate on where they are at with their relationship with God.
So what are these jewels? I am going to call them the three jewels that every Catholic should carry with them. Not that the reader cannot carry more, but with these jewels, the reader will be given more clarity in choosing other treasures that they want to take with them. For example, with these three jewels, I discovered that I prefer St. Augustine over St. Thomas when it comes to reading. Both jewels (Saints) are heavy to carry, and so I prefer to take with me the thoughts St. Augustine in my day to day prayer and meditation. I want the reader to not take this analogy too seriously because there are moments in my life when St. Thomas’s value in my theological studies is essential, and I will go to Him. As well, I find myself always returning back to St. Francis de Sales, St. Mary Faustina, St. John Henry Newman, the Church Fathers, Thomas Merton and the list goes on and on, but what I want the reader to learn here is that becoming focused on fewer riches of the Church in their daily life will bring greater wealth. Regarding this last point, I think about the quote from Wendell Berry who said,
"No matter how much one may love the world as a whole, one can live fully in it only by living responsibly in some small part of it."
This is to say when it comes to my faith, I may desire to have it all, and for me personally, I do. For example, I want to be praying in the Holy Land, but then I want to be in Rome, but then Lourdes and then I want to be visiting Our Lady of Guadalupe to only later move my way up to the USA to pray at the parish I grew up in. I want the City of God in front of me, but then I also want the SUMMA. I cannot have it all at once, and I will not be able to have it all in my lifetime. For me today, it is about how I can focus my faith, and how I can be responsible in carrying only a few of the treasures of the Church. If I can do that, then I will see (having learned from Saints) that the little bit that I can truly do and practice will provide for me enough wealth for my entire existence now and until I am called home.
Ok. I think the reader understands what I am trying to say so let us discuss the first jewel which I have already mentioned briefly: VOCATION. I like to turn to Saint Francis de Sales to help explain why this jewel is essential. He writes,
“In the creation, God commanded the plants of the earth to bring forth fruit, each after its kind; and in a similar way He commands Christians, who are the living plants of His Church, to bring forth the fruits of devotion, each according to his calling and vocation.”
Returning to the point of becoming a priest or husband that I mentioned earlier. How do I, the reader or anyone choose our vocation? Saint Francis tells us that it is a calling, but how does one know what they are called to be for the Church? Again, the Saint instructs us:
“...true devotion hinders no one, but rather it perfects everything, and whenever it is out of keeping with any person’s legitimate vocation, it must be spurious.”
What the Saint tells us is whatever is going to perfect us and not hinder is our calling. He goes on to quote Aristotle explaining that,
“...the bee extracts honey from the flowers without injuring them, leaving them as fresh and whole as she finds them.”
The bee’s vocation which was commanded by God’s love is in harmony with nature and promotes life, beauty and goodness. Like the bee, a vocation should be where one hears God’s love the most, and it is from there, in God's calling, where one will find their source of harmony, life, beauty and goodness. Another way to say this (I am going to steal words from my wife) is to choose the path that brings the most peace. I for example did not find peace becoming a priest. I found peace in marrying my wife. I knew that this was God’s calling for me because there I found His love most manifested, and therefore, generating the most peace in my heart.
This first jewel being a must is how each and everyone of us will be able to bring about God’s Kingdom. This leads me to the second jewel. Why this one is so essential is because it helps guide me to the Kingdom of God which I will explain in more detail further down, but it also brings clarity in finding and choosing other treasures. I would recommend my reader to read my article at Catholic365.com and here is the link: When Piety Cries The reader can get more on this particular jewel because in this current article that reader is going through, I am only going to lightly touch on it. The second jewel is the jewel of piety. Everyone is here on this pilgrimage on earth to be able to one day be in the presence of God in heaven. All of us want to be face to face with Him. This is what our life is all about, and this is what piety is–the active search for God’s Face, but how does one practice this piety, that is, how can one be pious? Here are three forms of piety to help the reader which will also help to give the reader clarity in their search in the vast chambers of our Mother Church:
Right Worship: The Church makes it clear what is the minimum for a believer to practice when it comes to the Faith, Sacraments, etc. The question for the reader, is the minimum the right worship for you? Is going to Mass once a week really enough? Is going to confession once a year really enough? Having read many lives of Saints, I can tell the reader that they were in Mass all the time. They were going to confession at least once a week if not more. They spent time in adoration. They prayed all the time. I understand that not everyone chose a religious life, but this does not excuse one from working on a relationship with God. To truly practice right worship is to offer one’s entire self to God. This is not done by external but internal devotion. Just because someone cannot be in Mass daily or in the chapel praying daily does not mean that their life cannot be an offering or prayer to God. This subject is vast and deserves its own article, but if the reader would like to learn more on prayers that are good for busy lives, I would again recommend another article that I wrote: Connecting to the Heart of Our Faith There I discuss a few different prayers that busy people can pray daily.
Duty: St. Thomas Aquinas explained that piety is very similar to the Cardinal Virtue of Justice because it pays the debt of what one owes to their Creator who gives and sustains their life. How does one give back to a God that gives His creation everything? The answer is real simple and St. Thomas helps with this: Love. Our duty is to love God above all things, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself. How does one love? That is the last form for the reader to look at.
Charity: To love like Christ is to pick up one’s Cross, and to follow him. It is also never to be afraid to die for Him. To be a martyr is to choose to want to see the face of God.
With these three forms, one can begin to identify in their own life where they can be more pious. Right worship could now mean for the reader to go to Mass more than once a week because there is time. It could be going to confession more or learning new prayers. Right worship is active and always looking to improve. That is what the reader is doing here. The reader is improving their life with God and learning and preparing to be in His presence. So again, this is why practicing piety for me is an absolute jewel that I must carry, but there still is one more essential jewel to pick up for this journey of life–one’s apostolate.
What is an apostolate? The reader can understand it as any activity that aims to spread the Gospel and extend the reign, that is, the Kingdom of Christ. This should not be confused with one’s vocation although it is very similar. An apostolate encompasses works of mercy, evangelization, and prayer. Some examples include going on missions, parish ministry, teaching (catechism), volunteering with charities, professional organizations that promote ethics, and living out Christian values in family or workplace life (Sanctification of Daily Life). One can choose to become married and be a doctor, and sanctify both by being a saintly spouse and health care provider, but this married person on their off days can still teach a catechism class for example. Their apostolate gets them involved with their local parish. It gives them time to step out of the routine and mundane and to participate in the works that Christ called everyone to.
For me I have two types of apostolates. One that I do with my family (I recommend anyone with a family to do this) and one that I do in my own spare time. Our family apostolate is together teaching catechism to adults and kids. We also go on mission trips monthly to local towns. By teaching catechism, we are constantly preparing classes (it does not take up that much time) which has us reading the Bible and learning constantly. Mission trips help bring the Bible and Christ alive in our life. By going out and preaching the Good News, we as Christians get to practice what Christ taught us to do. That is what my family and I do. Just for me and in my own times, I write about the Faith. For the reader, I want them to understand that this does not mean that this is what they have to do, but they should find time either once a week or once a month giving time to the Church. There are so many options, and if the reader goes to their parish and talks to their parish priest, I am sure they will find that there are all kinds of apostolates available and flexible to busy schedules.
These are the three jewels that I am proposing to the reader. First, find a vocation, with that, the pathway to holiness is clearer. Second, live a pious life that the reader and God can agree on. Piety can be found doing adoration once a week, and if the reader can do it, do it! If the reader can do it twice a week, do it! If the reader can pray the rosary everyday, do it. This article is not saying that this is something that happens over night. This takes time, patience, prayer and being quiet enough to listen to what God has to say. Also be ready for change. Just because today I can pray a rosary does not mean that tomorrow I am not praying two rosaries or a rosary, the Angelus, and a litany. The beauty of the treasure of the Church is that none of it is fixed, but constantly increases its adoration and purifies the christian living a pious life. Third, find time to give time to the Church. Get involved! Go to the parish, talk to the priest and find activities that need support. The reader may start with something and find that it does not fit them. That is okay! With enough time, one will always find what they are looking for.
I leave the reader with this. Our life turns either away or toward God. If the reader picks up these jewels, these royal pieces will create a life suitable for God’s Kingdom.