I used to be a nasty woman

By Pam Spano

01/25/2017 • View profile

By now you’ve probably listened to or read the poem (written by Nina Donovan) Ashley Judd recited during the Women’s March on Washington. I started to read the text and had to stop.

This is the dictionary’s definition of nasty:

1a : disgustingly filthy <nasty living conditions>b : physically repugnant <a nasty taste>
2: indecent, obscene <nasty language>
3: mean, tawdry <living a cheap and nasty life — G. B. Shaw>

I’m not a nasty woman, but I used to be one.

I engaged in things during the 60’s and 70’s that I believed at the time made me a “liberated woman.” All I got from it was not feeling very good about myself and a lot of guilt. I will point out that I wasn’t even Catholic then when I experienced those guilty feelings.

Everything I read and heard back then told me I could be a liberated woman and be proud of it! I could sleep with as many men as I wanted, hurt their feelings, play with their emotions and get away with it. I could toss each guy aside and move on to the next one, without giving a damn. And if I got pregnant, I could just abort the baby and repeat the cycle.

It wasn’t until years later that I realized all those things that were screaming at me from the magazine pages were turning me into a man. Not just any man, but the very man I had despised for treating me in the same exact way.

Was that what liberation meant? God, I was so confused! I thought I wanted those things. I wanted to be confident and independent. I wanted to be successful both professionally and financially. But I also thought I had to accomplish those things and exploit my sex. I was a young woman that was drifting closer to an abyss. I hadn’t been that scared since I was living at home with my mother and I thought I was going to lose my mind from the verbal abuse.

I longed for God during those years. He was revealing Himself to me in little ways during that time, but I wasn’t paying attention. It wasn’t until I met my husband that everything changed.

I don’t understand Ashley Judd, Madonna or any of the celebrity women that seem so angry all the time. They are rich and successful, yet I never see them smile. Since becoming Catholic, the Church has offered me so many women to look up to and admire. Women who were not necessarily rich, but successful, and many who lived during my lifetime.

I want to be tireless like Saint Mother Teresa, create balance in my life in reflecting on Mary and Martha, and most of all I want to be a good wife and mother like Our Blessed Mother. These are just three of the many women I can model for the different facets of my life. Recently St. Monica has been a powerful influence in my prayer life. You can find more heroic women here.

I’ve also been blessed with friends. They are like me with the same every day triumphs and struggles that life brings us. We share our faith, our good times and our bad times. We support each other during those times and we always, always have a great time together!

I used to be a nasty woman, but that was years ago. Today I am a wife, a mother, a friend and most importantly a woman who loves God and her faith.

I’m rarely angry and I ALWAYS smile! Maybe all those angry celebrity women out there need some new role models of their own.