Save Up to $25,000.00 a Month by Simply Being Catholic

Many people think Catholic family life is a financial trap and that staying single and rule-free is the ticket to a cheap, liberated lifestyle. What they fail to realize is that "living in the world" gets incredibly expensive. Virtue doesn't just help to save your soul it actually will save you a lot of headaches and money as well...

• Detachment (Lent): Save $400. Skipping the steak dinners and cutting back on DoorDash during Lent doesn't just build spiritual discipline—it builds your wallet.
• Off-Brand Asceticism: Save $400. When you are not trying to "keep up with the Joneses," generic brands look beautiful. You don't need a designer logo to get into Heaven.
• The Ferrari Rule: Save $400. You wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari, so you probably aren't paying an artist hourly to tattoo your body (though tattoos are not stricly forbidden by the Church).
• No Regerts (or Removals): Save $3,000. If you never get the tattoo, you never have to pay a laser technician thousands of dollars to blast it off later.
• Chastity Insurance: Save $1,000. Following Church teaching on the 6th commandment and sexuality means you completely bypass the astronomical out-of-pocket costs of treating STDs.
• Till Death Do Us Part: Save $7,000. Staying committed to your vows means you never have to split your assets or pay a retainer fee to a divorce attorney.
• Confession vs. Therapy: Save $600. A psychiatrist can easily cost hundreds per hour. The Sacrament of Reconciliation lets you unload your guilt for free.
• 'Just Say No': Save $6,750 a month. Treat your body like the temple that it is and never start doing drugs. Avoiding a severe drug habit keeps you out of the devastating financial spiral of active addiction.
• Rehab Prevention: Save around $6,000. For those who go by the motto, 'Just Do It' or 'YOLO' there may be severe, unforseen ramifications. By following the 5th commandment as it relates to not abusing your body, you entirely avoid the massive monthly bill of a 30-day inpatient rehabilitation program.

This is not an exaustive list, just top of mind stuff. Please leave a comment adding anything I left out.

This article (mostly written in jest) could have been called, "It's too expensive not to be Catholic". I realize also that saving money is like reason number 659 on anyone's list of reasons to be Catholic. But total it all up, and living a somewhat normal Catholic life (albeit somewhat sinful) certainly makes you rich in grace—and it's not too bad on the pocket book either!