I'm a Jesus freak
We only have control to a certain point. Got allows us to maintain life only by His Grace. Ultimately realizing, we are His instruments. He is The giver. He gives us the tools to live and He is the provider of all things. Like the servant who was given the "talent", which in biblical times was the heaviest unit of measurement for weight and money, that foolish man dug a hole and buried it, when he was supposed to use it to prosper. Burying our Faith, which is one of the greatest "talents", that God gives us, will only lead to our demise. We will not prosper. We will fail. We need constancy and strength and nourishment of our Faith. Not when we choose, but every day of our lives. We find strength that the Holy Sacraments can give us. We are nourished by the Holy Communion we receive at Mass. We flourish when we honor God in the Holy sacrifice on the altar. We cannot choose to give ourselves only when we feel like it. We in turn must be faithful to our faithful God. Choosing wrong from right only leads a soul deeper into perdition. Blinding the eyes that once saw clearly the Covenant of God. No one succeeds by evil ways. While the devil laughs, we cry. He does not care as he swims gleefully in our tears.
Pray this day, for the scales to fall from our eyes and the leather that binds our souls is loosened. Raise the White flag to our resignation to defeat in self. God gives us everything. Let us now give it all back to Him and place it in His Sacred Heart that is so willing to accept us no matter where we are in life or what state He finds us in.
There is a quote by Caryll Houselander that says, "strangely enough, those who complain the loudest of the emptiness of their lives are usually people whose lives are overcrowded, filled with trivial details, plans, desires and ambitions. Those who complain in these circumstances..... Are usually afraid to allow space or silence or pause in their lives".
"Be still and know that He is God"