HOW FAR MUST WE EXTEND OUR FORGIVENESS?

 HOW FAR MUST WE EXTEND OUR FORGIVENESS?

Eileen Renders

As a young adult, I had difficulty distinguishing how far we must go to extend forgiveness. I believed that once we forgive, the act or words that caused us harm must be forgiven and forever forgotten. As I grew and matured, I learned that we are not meant to become an open door for others who want to release their anger and frustration. Always a curious person, and wanting to be on the right side of God, I needed to affirm my inner feelings. In Luke 17:3-4, the Catholic Bible teaches that we must maintain a forgiving and merciful heart to avoid ill feelings of revenge. Forgiveness and repair in a close relationship, however, require that the offender apologize and express sincere regret for having hurt the other.

The reconciliation and repair of a relationship differ in that when someone hurts us and apologizes, we are quickly able to forgive and possibly forget.

When someone repeatedly commits acts that hurt us physically or emotionally without a sincere apology, and does not amend their hurtful ways, we need to set boundaries, and if that does not work, we must consider ending this relationship for our emotional and physical health.

Another way of understanding what God wants from us: Internal forgiveness from within our hearts is God’s desire for our spiritual health. Letting go without bitterness and resentment.

Reconciliation of a relationship is “conditional;  Luke17: 3-4 Jesus says: “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him: and if he sins again against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, “I repent, you must forgive him.

Final Note: If the person does not apologize and continues the hurtful behavior, you are not obliged to act as if nothing happened. You are allowed to set firm boundaries, limit contact, and protect yourself from abuse or manipulation.