Seeking Silence in a Loud Life

Do you ever notice how our best thoughts come to us in the shower or on the toilet? Why? Because we’re still and silent. Or, at least we used to be.  Have you found lately that’s no longer the case? In a house with young children, we are already living a loud life. But how much noise are we inviting in ourselves?

I recall a moment during Mass in the early stages of returning to the faith. I was asking God why I don’t hear Him the way other people seem to. I suddenly was struck with the question: Am I listening? Living in a household of young children, there are so few moments of quiet. The TV is on, kids are fighting, toys are blaring obnoxious sounds, the dog is barking, and of course the never-ending chorus of “Mom!” Yet at naptime, as I was rocking my infant to sleep, I had earbuds in.  In the evenings after everyone had gone to bed and it was time to clean up the kitchen, I put earbuds in. In the shower, in the car, on a walk, I had some additional noise in my ears. But God can and will meet us where we are. He spoke through a podcaster that told me exactly what I needed to hear. Matt Fradd said on his podcast Pints With Aquinas, "I think it's probably seriously problematic to walk around with somebody else's voice in your head. Those random thoughts that we have while we're doing the dishes or taking the dog for a walk, they're probably important. And when we drown them out with somebody else's voice constantly, that's not a good thing." That began a practice of intentionally integrating silence into my daily life. 

 
Fasting Friday

Fasting is an essential part of our faith life. Good news is we don’t have to worry about forgetting to fast; the Church has that built into our daily life by calling us to exercise some form of fasting every Friday. Why not fast from noise? No music, podcasts, audiobooks, social media scrolling, no TV in the background- all day. I make exceptions for kid-requested songs or shows, but when it's up to me, I abstain. 

I can tell you, it is not easy. The discomfort driving in silence is astounding, but this is when God speaks to us. Without this practice of fasting from noise on Fridays, I wouldn’t do it at all, and I would miss out on a lot of really incredible realizations He’s given me.  

Silent Showers

It seems silly to think of the shower as a place that needs to be silenced, yet I found myself with a Bluetooth speaker just outside the shower curtain and a podcast, audiobook, or music playing. When we really think about it, the shower is the perfect time to give God your undivided attention. Your task in the shower is all muscle memory by now. You can’t simultaneously be throwing a load of laundry in, sending off a text, and correcting a child’s behavior. There is no room for multitasking in the shower, so we fill it with noise. Keeping the shower a noise-free zone has been the easiest swap for silence that I’ve made. Now I cherish that time a little more than my hotwater tank would like. 

Limit Screentime

In George Orwell’s 1984, the people were forced to watch a screen. We're not. Yet we can’t seem to pull our eyes away. In addition to fasting from social media on Fridays, consider fasting from any extracurricular phone activity a few select days or select times of day. This means scrolling, shopping, games, etc. There are apps and other products to help lock you out of your phone if that would be necessary. If you need those, use them! Ultimately, this practice is not about our willpower. It’s about taking in the life happening around us, letting our kids see more of our faces, and letting God's voice in. 

Technology-free Toilet

Be honest, whenever you take your phone into the bathroom, all you come out with is a germy phone and numb legs. I understand the appeal to use this time to multitask. When we’re running around doing a thousand other things, we end up with a phone to-do list. Those few moments on the toilet seem like the perfect opportunity to answer a few emails, send that text you’ve been meaning to send, or look something up on Amazon real quick. When in reality, the time it takes you to finish your business and get out of the bathroom is prolonged, and you haven’t saved any time. Instead, you could spend a moment in silence. Take a breath, and spend the time listening to what God may want to say to you. 

After integrating these practices, I found that it wasn’t finding silence that was the problem. It was that I didn't like silence. I found it uncomfortable and needed to fill the void. It was a slow and sometimes uncomfortable process, but I've learned to pry myself away from some of the noise I've been adding to my life. Now I don't feel repressed or uncomfortable... I feel free! I find being still and silent for devotional time, like prayer and adoration, much more fruitful. Try one or try them all; you will find a peace and silence in your life you've had access to all this time.