Pennies in the Wishing Well: Capturing Fleeting Thoughts on Faith

It has been a while since I have posted. I often share my thoughts in short bursts on Facebook, but I have not had anything substantial to say lately. I have given myself a break from the task, but as any writer of any genre knows, we never are truly at rest. There is always something simple that brings us to an idea. That idea then must be written down, or we take the risk of losing it forever. Like a penny in a wishing well, those thoughts become lost among the rest; our brains unable to find the connection.
Yesterday, while procrastinating sleep, I had thoughts about the topic of joy. Today, I cannot recall what stirred this topic within me; note the penny simile. I did not write it down as I should have but told myself to remember that I needed to write about it.

Joy was hard for me. So many hardships in my life robbed me of joy. I could sing The Little Light of Mine but allow that light to be blown out. I knew Jesus and believed He is the Son of God. But, I could not understand this joy. I have written about my Catholic conversion in previous posts, so I won’t go into depth here. However, my first experience of what I believe to be true joy was my first Mass. I will never forget that experience. I do not know how else to say it, but it felt like finally arriving home. I do not know if I will ever experience that again until I see Jesus. I did not want to leave. I am a sensitive person to my surroundings all the time, but I could feel the sunlight and power present at the altar. Joy finally made sense. I carry it with me daily now and no one can take it from me. 

But how do we actually define it? Joy is defined as a deep feeling of great happiness, a source of delight, or a person and thing that brings gladness, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Nehimiah 8:10 tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength. The opposite of joy is despair and hopelessness. We often get happiness and joy confused. We can by unhappy with our circumstance, but still joyful.

The last place anyone would think of inspiring joy would be prison. I know that if I was imprisoned, I would feel pretty hopeless; especially under emperor Nero. However, Paul wrote, not only about joy in prison, but WITH joy. He wrote to an entire congregation in Phillipi expressing his never ending joy in them and his contentment with his circumstance. Who has trouble deciding where to eat? I imagine this was Paul when deciding if death or life is better. Jimmy Johns or Jersey Mikes? Both are great options.

For most of us familiar with church history, this is not a new fact. But, if you are new to Christianity or are unfamiliar with Phillipians, this might be new to you. The Book of Philippians, which is technically a letter, was written to the church in Phillipi. It is considered the “Epistle of Joy.” If you have not read it, please do. Nothing that I write here can compare to how beautiful that letter is. Think of Paul sitting in a dark cell, chained, while Nero burns Christians in the streets like candles. Yet, look at the words that poured out of that darkness, “I thank my God every time I remember you, constantly praying with joy in every one of my prayers for all of you because of your sharing in the gospel from the first day until now.”  Paul knew that he would die. He accepted it. It is in this letter that we get the popular verses:

Philippians 4:6–7 — "Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:13 — "I can do all things in him who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:8 — "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

Philippians 1:21 — "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

Philippians 3:8 — "Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as refuse, in order that I may gain Christ."

Philippians 3:13–14 — "...forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:4 — "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice."

Philippians 4:11–12 — "I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content. I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound..."
 
Other saints have written about joy as well:

Saint Augustine: "For there is a joy which is not given to the ungodly, but to those who love Thee for Thine own sake, whose joy Thou Thyself art. And this is the happy life, to rejoice to Thee, of Thee, for Thee; this is it, and there is no other."
 
Saint Thomas Aquinas: "No possession can be delightful without a friend... Spiritual joy, which is the greatest of joys, proceeds from the love of God."
 
Saint John Bosco: "Servite Domino in laetitia—Serve the Lord with holy joy! The devil is afraid of cheerful people.
 
Saint Mother Teresa: "Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love."
 
Saint Thérèse of Lisieux: "My joy is to love suffering, to smile while shedding tears. I accept with gratitude the thorns mingled with flowers."
 
 
It is impossible to have true joy apart from Christ. You can be happy, but hopeless. Sadly, this is the state of our souls apart from Christ; hopeless. No amount of work can reconcile the consequences of sin in our lives. This is Biblical. It is only through Christ’s sacrifice that we can be saved, and we must believe this. We can accept that He died, but not believe He is our Saviour. This state of mind is hopeless.
 
I always confused joy for happiness. I put too much faith on my feelings. While happiness depends on external circumstances, true joy persists even through suffering because it flows from the Holy Spirit. This is the great paradox of the Christian life, one that Saint Paul understood completely from his dark cell, and one that became real to me the moment I stepped into my first Mass. Joy is not an emotional high we have to manufacture as many do in Protestant churches; it is an anchor dropped into the reality of God’s love. My feelings will always fluctuate. The hardships of life will still come, and some days will feel like a struggle just to keep the light from blowing out. But I no longer have to depend on my circumstances to feel secure. True joy means that even when our eyes are full of tears, our souls can still rest in the knowledge that we are already home.

The next time you find yourself unhappy with where you are, remember Paul's chains, remember the smiles of the saints, and look up. Turn your thoughts to whatever is true, good, and beautiful. Don't let your "penny" get lost in the well of daily anxieties. Choose joy today, because the Lord is your strength, and He has already won the battle.