How I regained peace and confidence after a period of struggling with fear of the unknown.

As we sojourn on earth, especially during the early years of our lives, we are always worried about what the future holds for us. For the fact that we do not know what may happen at any point in time, this becomes a constant trouble. The world is so unpredictable that even the one who tries to do everything right may still end up not achieving his aim. Some wealthy parents have tried to accumulate a lot of wealth for their children so they do not suffer again in life, but sometimes disaster strikes and everything is gone. Even when making life choices, one is not sure if it is going to yield the desired results. Life challenges have made human beings to always doubt that the future will be secured.

My Experience

Relocating to America in 2022 was to be a life saver for a young woman with young kids, but when I got here, I became so afraid. Why? Fear of the unknown. I became so worried about what the future holds for us. Settling down, getting a job to keep going was not easy as an immigrant with kids. As days go by it became more terrifying.

Secondly, I was coming from a setting where you still have control over your children’s decisions, or you influence them until they marry. But here everything is different. As soon as children attain the age of 18, they off the hook. They are free to take personal decisions, live however the like with little or no parental guidance. My constant worry was that they may start so early to take unguided decisions that could mar their future. Decisions like choosing not go church ever again or leaving the Catholic faith entirely, changing their natural orientation, living all kinds of lifestyle that may endanger their future.

In that state of constant worry, I was having a lot of distorted negative thoughts and I know the devil used that opportunity of giving in to worries to plunge me more into despair, anxiety and depression. In my worldly wisdom, I had to start marking tangible plans to prevent my fears from becoming reality. I outlined series of plans, the more I make the plans the more scary it got. I saw myself always preoccupied and lost in thoughts in a way that started affecting me negatively. I could not concentrate on a thing, I was battling with anxiety and depression. All these while I was trying to use human wisdom to solve my fear of the unknown, little did I know that it was a total waste of time and energy.

Then there came the light of God.

As a practicing Catholic, I say my daily prayers and attend masses on regular basis but I did not actively involve God in my worries, for I was carried away. When light came to me was when I resorted to prayer, bible study and meditation. During my meditation sessions, it feels like God is speaking to me and I became relaxed and always looked forward to my meditation sessions. In Mathew  6:33-34, the bible says, “but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil”.  I made it a point of duty to start my daily meditation with this quotation and it did the magic.

One day during my meditation, I had a spiritual encounter/awakening that changed my situation for good. I heard series of question directed personally to me saying,  “Why do you worry too much? Did you create yourself? Are you better than all the people you know who have died even at a younger age? If I leave you to your plans, what can you achieve? How sure are you that you can be alive to execute all those your future plans? Cast your future plans and that of your family upon me and worry no more. At that point I felt the presence of God and I broke into tears as the questions kept reechoing in my ears.

Since then, I continued with my daily meditation, bible study, praying the rosary and the rosary of liberation and I continued to grow from strength to strength. Ever since then, each day break, I hand my activities over to God and say, “God my future and that of my family is in your hands, direct us on how to go”

So I want to encourage those are struggling with various burdens of life not to worry but to lay them at the feet of our Lord Jesus, he knows what is the best for us. Jeremiah 29:11-12, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you” This verse explicitly demonstrates that God is very willing and ever ready to give us a better future than we even desired. That time of worries can be used to deepen our faith in God as well as building our relationship with God and we will experience the peace which the world cannot give.