When a family member hurts and disrespects us, does God tell us to Forgive and welcome them into our lives?

This is a question I struggled with as a young adult. I believed and misunderstood God’s mercy and forgiveness because of His great love for us. However, we all must understand God’s mercy and understanding. The following Catholic Bible verses by Jesus and His disciples will set you free. Free from feeling guilty when you were the one being mistreated.

Jesus says to Luke 17:3-4, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and turns to you seven times, and says, “I repent”, forgive him.

The Forgiveness of God

1 John:1-9 says:

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

God does not forgive those who do not repent. This is why Jesus prayed for the crucifiers of the innocent: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke:23-34} – but He did not say they were forgiven; He asked the Father to forgive them, showing His mercy even without their repentance.

Our Catholic interpretation and Teaching

We are taught that forgiveness is a gift from God and that we are to forgive “as the Lord has forgiven you” (Colossians 3:13-14) calls us to “bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

How Do We Practice Forgiveness?

We are called to forgive as God has forgiven us. If our offender repents

We are not required to forgive and may seek justice, protection, or distance, as God honors our suffering and does not demand that we “forget” when our offender does not repent.

To be clear – Another

 Associated TeachingCatholic Teaching on Forgiveness, Purgatory, and Scripture
In the Catholic tradition, absolution in the sacrament of penance removes the guilt and penalty of sin. Still, it does not automatically erase all the spiritual consequences or the need for purification. The Catechism teaches that God forgives sins “with the fullness of grace” when we are truly sorry and resolved to amend our life (Canon 959) . Catholic Courier+1. However, the effects of sin — such as wounded relationships, disordered habits, or spiritual “stains” — may still require healing.

Purgatory is not a place of punishment for sins God has already forgiven; it is a state of purification to remove any remaining imperfections so the soul can enter heaven in a state of holiness Catholic Courier+1. This purification is not punitive but corrective, like “scrubbing clean” the soul so it can fully share in God’s glory.

While the Catholic Bible itself does not contain a single verse that explicitly says “you will go to purgatory after confession,” the teaching is rooted in Scripture and tradition. For example:

1 Corinthians 3:15 speaks of being “saved, yet so as through fire” — a metaphor for purification.
Revelation 21:27 describes the new heaven and new earth as a place where “nothing impure will enter.”
The Book of Revelation and 1 John 1:9 emphasize cleansing and purification, which align with the Catholic understanding of purgatory.
The Church’s teaching is that forgiveness is complete in sacramental absolution, but the soul may still need time in purgatory to be fully purified before entering heaven Catholic Courier+1. This is not because God punishes forgiven sins, but because the soul must be made whole again.

In summary:

Scripture supports the idea of purification after sin, but the specific teaching on purgatory comes from Catholic tradition and the Catechism.
Forgiveness in confession removes guilt and penalty, but purification may still be needed.
Purgatory is a place of healing, not punishment, for those who die in God’s grace but need further purification.