How to bring the best out of people

HOW TO BRING THE BEST OUT OF PEOPLE

Mt. 16:13-20

When Jesus first met Simon, the fisherman, He said to him, "You are Simon, son of John.  Your name shall be Cephas."  Cephas is an Aramaic word, of which the Greek translation is Peter, and the English is Rock.  Simon, at that time, was anything but a rock.  He was impetuous, emotional and unstable.  Jesus knew this man was capable of being a solid rock on whom He could rely.

That change in Peter did not happen immediately.  It would take Jesus at least a couple of years under His supervision to bring about this change.  The day came when Jesus was able to say, “You are Peter and on this rock I will build My Church."  Jesus had been able to bring the best out of His friend, Simon.  This was one of Jesus’ many gifts.  He did this to others.  Under His influence, Zacchaeus who knew how to amass riches for himself became a generous philanthropist.  The explosive John, known as "Son of Thunder", became the "beloved disciple".  A narrow-minded, nationalistic Jew named Saul became Paul, the apostle to the Gentiles.

The fact is that we too can be like Jesus and influence people’s lives.  We can encourage others or discourage them.  Often, we are not aware of our influence on others, but it is there, nonetheless.  Since we are able to affect people for better or worse, why don’t we try to bring the best out of them?  Jesus can show us how to do this.

The first thing we have to do is to see them at their best and then help them to see it, too.  That is exactly what Jesus did for Simon. He saw possibilities in that rugged fisherman that everyone else had overlooked, including Simon himself.  It had never occurred to him that he had the potential to be a rock-like character, until Jesus pointed it out to him.  Once Jesus pointed this out to him it gave him the incentive to try and be such a person. 

There was once a young man who got involved with a tough gang, and desperately wanted to be one of them.  He forced himself to walk with a swagger, to talk with a brash tongue, and to act hostile towards people just like his gang members.  Then one day he met a young woman, wise beyond her years, who liked him.  She saw a side of him that he was trying to hide.  She said, “Do you know deep down you are a gentle person with a big, kind heart.  Why are you so afraid that someone might see it?"  Those were the words he needed to hear and from that day he left the gang and tried to be the person she described.

It does not take a genius to see the possibilities in people.  All that is needed is a caring heart and a discerning eye.  We can all do it.  The problem with many of us is that so often we don’t look for the best in people but their worst and usually we find that.  That kind of discovery does not require much effort.  Any casual observer can soon see the bad qualities in most of us.  They are right on the surface and not hard to miss.  But the good, and especially the best, is often buried under years of negligent living.  The casual observer is not going to see that.

It takes someone who cares to see the best.  We will not succeed at bringing out the best in people to whom we are indifferent or towards whom we are hostile.  Unless we are thoroughly self-centred and selfish most of us do care, at least for a few people.  We care about our families and friends.  That is the right place to start.  Let’s look for the best in our children, in our spouse, in our brothers and sisters.  We will surely find it, because it is there.  Once we have found it, help them to see it, too.  We might be pleasantly surprised at the results of simply pointing out to people the good that we have seen in them.

The next step is to encourage them.   Jesus knew how to do this. When Zacchaeus pledged to give half of his fortune to the poor, He applauded it.  We would expect that.  Everyone appreciates the big gesture.  But He applauded even more loudly the poor widow who gave her two pennies.  Jesus was generous with His words of praise.  He complimented every good and decent thing he saw in people's lives, however small it might be.

The effect genuine praise can have on people’s lives can be enormous.  Most of us can remember almost every word of praise we have ever received.  They are filed away in our memory bank and can still help us during hard times.  I remember as a boy singing in the school choir, a priest said to me, “You have a pleasant singing voice.”  Those words encouraged me for years.  No one but he told me that.  Eventually, I found myself singing before audiences of thousands in the Liverpool Empire and Philharmonic and recording 42 albums!

How grateful we should be to those men and women who make it their business to encourage the best in people.  Let us try to be like them.  We can start today with just one word or gesture of encouragement to anyone who does us a good turn.  We can smile and thank the girl at the check-point in a supermarket.  It can make her feel she is appreciated and doing a good job.  She in turn may pass that smile to another person who may be having a bad day and it may brighten theirs.  This is a small thing, but who knows what a difference it made to the girl at the check-point.

Finally, like Jesus we must not only try to bring out the best in people but we must model it for them.  Jesus called Simon a "Rock", but first He showed him how to be a rock.  He saw Jesus was strong in times of adversity, steady in times of turmoil, and generous to those in need.  If Peter ever wondered what his life should be, he had the perfect role model in Jesus.  Jesus brought out the best in Simon, and all of the other lives He touched, by demonstrating it for them.

If we would have that effect on people, we must do the same. There is no substitute for a good role model.  If we want our children to be honest, show them how.  If we want them to be happy, let them see us smiling and hear us laughing.  If we want them to be kind and loving, then give them a kind and loving home in which to grow up.

Edgar Guest wrote a poem about his preference for seeing a sermon, as opposed to hearing one.  He wrote, "I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give.  But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live."  Bringing out the best in others must begin with bringing out the best in ourselves.

Lord Jesus, like You help me to encourage others and bring the best out of them.  Like You again may they find in me a good role model.

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