The Hardest Prayer to pray....

I believe it's the hardest prayer to ever come from our lips. It's a prayer we first see with the Pslamist in Psalm 139:23-24:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try. me, and know my anxieties, and see if there is any wicked way in me." 

That's bold.

Imagine telling a spouse, a friend, or a co-worker every little secret - even the ones hidden way down deep in the darkest corner of your heart. Have you ever considered how difficult it would be to reveal all those things to someone else. Imagine how difficult it must have been for David, the one who penned these words, to write "Search me, O God, and know my heart".

If you remember, David might not have been wanting God to search much of anything in his heart at that time. We don't know if he wrote this Psalm before or after his - well- shall we say 'bad judgment" with Bathsheba that we learn about in 2 Samuel Chapter 11. We don't know if he wrote it after the entire debacle with Bathsheba.

It really doesn't matter because either way it went, David knew that his heart proved that he was capable, even likely to commit (or had committed) serious sin. He was capable of murder and adultery. He was capable (or had already committed) serious sins that impacted the lives of others in ways that could never have been repaired.

However, it always seems to be his first impulse- an automatic response if you will - when he had sinned to immediately deny it and try to hide it from God. Sounds a lot like our own selves doesn't it? Sounds a lot like Adam and Eve, doesn't it? Nothing is new. Satan doesn't change his tactics.

It is the boldest thing we can do - to ask God to search our hearts and to make sure to not miss those deep and dark corners where we tend to stash things that no one else can see or find. 

What happens if we don't? What happens if we do not pray that God search our heart and clean it? Then, well, we put ourselves in a prison of our own making and choosing.

The sins go unconfessed, unrepented, and it eventually hinders our relationship with God. You see, never forget that God already knows. He already knows what you have done, said, or refused to do. He is just waiting for you to ask Him to come and clean your heart. 

What about sins of pride, unforgiven or hidden anger or jealously, a desire for recognition and honor rather than being in the background, a desire for more money over spending time in Mass, a desire to have more "things" over having more "moments" with God.

I encourage you to stand up, have the courage to pray "Search me, O God...."

Whatever God reveals to you - go ahead and confess it, repent, and replace it with God's love, forgiveness, mercy, and his love.