A 30-Minute Confession? How Many Sins Did You Commit?!

Recently, I read an article in the National Catholic Register, which was titled: “Is 30 Minutes Too Long for Confession?”

Many priests were quoted in the piece, and explained that sometimes people are going to Confession for the first time in decades. They often are scared and a little disoriented, and they need the priest to gently (and slowly) help them through the process.

I understand that once in a while Confession might require more time than usual. But whenever I think about this topic, I recall an incident that occurred to me many years ago. In the parish I attended back then, Confession was available on Saturdays from 4 pm until about 4:55, when the priest had to get ready to say 5 o’clock vigil Mass.

One Saturday I arrived a few minutes after 4:00. There were already about seven or eight people lined up when I got there, and another five or so arrived later and got in line behind me. The first few people went into the Reconciliation Room for the sacrament, and were out in about three or four minutes each. Then a woman went in, and she stayed in there for at least 30 minutes. Those of us in line kept checking our watches, looking at each other, and shrugging.

While I waited, I kept telling myself, Well, maybe she has some really serious issues she’s working through. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but a lot of frustration and resentment was building up.

Finally, at about 4:45, she came out. Those of us in line knew that only two or three more people would be able to receive the sacrament that day. The rest of us would have to wait for another time. I thought to myself, Lady, I sure hope you just had a life-changing spiritual experience. 

Then the woman who had been in there for a half-hour turned back, looked through the open door, and cheerfully said to the priest, “I’ll make sure to send you a copy of that recipe. Your mother will love it!”

Wait! What?! She was in the confessional for 30 full minutes talking to the priest about her secret formula for apple cobbler?! Are you kidding me?!

Those of us in line looked at each other with steam coming out of our ears — which, by the way, is not the Vatican-recommended frame of mind for receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation.

Two more people were able to go to Confession, and then it was time for Mass. The priest came out, said a quick, “Sorry,” to those of us in line, and walked up to the front of the church to get ready for Mass.

To be fair, it’s been a long time since that event occurred, so maybe my recollection has been clouded by a little “Exaggermemory.” (That’s a phenomenon where your brain embellishes real events in a way that makes the re-telling more interesting and dramatic.)

But let me assure you, embellishment or not, that woman was in the confessional for a long, long time, and many of us stood around for an hour and never received the sacrament. 

Anyway, in the article I read, one priest was quoted as saying, “The sacrament of penance is not pastoral counseling or spiritual direction, and it’s certainly not clinical counseling.” (It’s also not a prolonged recipe-swapping session.)

However, another priest was quoted in the article, and he noted that only priests hear confessions, and therefore only they truly understand what people are going through. He had this to say: “The opinions of laymen on this topic are not worthy of consideration….You don’t hear confessions. You lack a viable frame of reference. Move along.” 

Ooh, that seems a little harsh, Padre (and more than a little condescending). I mean, people just wanted to receive the sacrament and were unable to do so because some Chatty Cathy monopolized the priest’s time.  

There must be a middle ground we can agree on, right? Maybe once a person has been in the confessional for, say, eight minutes, the priest can offer something like, “I know this is very important for you to discuss, but there are other people waiting, so why don’t we schedule a meeting in my office on a weekday?”

On the bright side, it’s a good problem when many people want to go to Confession. 

When that particular incident happened to me years ago, I not only needed to go to Confession that day, but I really needed to go afterward, to confess the sins I did not get a chance to confess, plus all my new sins, most of which were less than pleasant thoughts about that woman.