Off the Hook

At the point in the Mass where we are asked to turn to one another and offer the Sign of Peace, we all look left and right, backward and forward, smiling and waving, shaking hands (is that ok now?), or flashing a “V,” or kissing a loved one. The room sounds like a bunch of people calling to a kitten: "Psss, peeec, psss, peees."  It seems like a weirdly-placed recess from the seriousness of the Communion Rite.

The reason it feels out of place, or like an interruption, is that we don’t really think about the significance of the action. We are not taking a break to greet newcomers, to show affection to a spouse, nor to let Mary Alice know we’re present. We are pausing because Jesus told us not to approach the altar of sacrifice if we have a beef with another person.

Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. ~Matthew 5:23-24

It’s not an opportunity to break from the ritual, it’s an opportunity to free ourselves of animosity before daring to present ourselves before the Eucharist. It’s a moment to look over at the chorus member you despise or the neighbor who yelled at your kid or even at the priest who ticked you off during the homily. It’s a moment to weigh the consequences of forgoing Communion or receiving the Body of Christ with a tainted heart. It’s a last chance forgive-or-ask-forgiveness moment. It’s a peace that can be offered to those in the room or those on your mind- near or far, even the deceased.

The Sign of Peace is a gift from Christ Himself intended to ease our souls and give us rest. He is showing us that when we bear anger, animus or strife toward another, it is our own relationship with Him that truly suffers. If we want to approach Him, receive Him and become one with Him, we must not bring such negativity to the act.

No matter what, no matter why, no matter how we have become estranged from another brother or sister, the suffering is ours (and Christ’s) until we let it go. We must consider which is more vital… the now or the eternal. And we must, without question, choose the eternal if we are to call ourselves receivers of the Word. 

If we truly live in Christ, then forgiveness should be a priority. Living with an axe to grind is a burden that is not only unnecessary, but offensive to the Lord. Whether we were in the right or wrong, whether we need to forgive or be forgiven, we have a Christian duty to put the thing aside. We have an obligation to proceed with our calling- with the will of the Father- without allowing our pride to distract or obstruct us. 

In seeking to end a rift, we often need only express regret in the simplest terms. We often find that the other person is also relieved to see the tension end. “I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot.” “I hope we can move on from this.” “I don’t want this to come between us.” Once you create a habit of taking the higher road, of being the one to suggest peace, it just gets easier and easier. You may even come to enjoy it. 

Letting the other party know that you are no longer at odds with them, doesn’t mean you need their agreement; it doesn’t mean you must be friends or accept an unacceptable situation. It just means that you can go forward with your life, no longer tethered to a disagreement that, in eternity, will not matter.  

Jesus makes us, His followers, “fishers of men.”  We are called to gather together all the fish, good and bad. He will decide their disposition, all we have to do is pull them in and let them off the hook.