Is it in the Spirit of the Mass to hold hands during the Our Father?

I think so. It’s been over thirty years since I’ve been back to the Catholic Church and the People of God (that’s us) have been holding hands, during the recitation of the Our Father, for all that time. In fact, it’s not as though the custom began then. It was already a well established behavior by then.

If there were anything wrong with the practice, the Church has had ample time to correct it. The fact that She hasn’t, leads me to believe that there is nothing wrong.

So, what’s the problem? Why are some people against it?

I don’t know. All I can do is tell you why I’m in favor of it and why I think that the Catholic Church will always permit it.

Reason for this article

To allay your fears. What fears? Well, when I came back to the Church, I merely started holding hands with everyone because everyone was doing it. Very soon, though, some naysayers came around telling me that it was wrong to do so. They claimed that the act was so bad, that it actually invalidated the Mass. For many years, it was something that nagged at the back of my mind. I didn’t want to invalidate the Mass. And it didn’t make sense that the Church would permit the People of God (that’s us) to unwittingly, invalidate the one remaining sacrifice for our sins.

So, I wanted to allay my fears. And I did. I studied the problem and found out that the Church has not said anything against the phenomenon. I call it a phenomenon because it really is. All of a sudden the entire Church started holding hands during the Our Father, as though on cue. And this has continued for over thirty years. That’s a movement of the Holy Spirit, in my opinion.

So, I allayed my fears by studying up on the subject. Discovering that it really is not a problem and in fact, in my opinion, is very much in line with the Spirit of the Mass and of our Faith. So, I hope these findings help to allay your fears, should you have any, that holding hands during the Our Father is somehow wrong or sinful or that it invalidates the Mass.

Before I get started, remember, these are simply the opinions of a layman. If your Catechist or Priest or Bishop disagree, fawgitaboutit and obey those whom God placed over you in the Church.

Reasons why I think that holding hands during the Our Father, is in the Spirit of the Mass

One of my favorite Saints, St. John of the Cross, summarized the Catholic Faith in one word, “love”. And we all know that Scripture describes God with that very same word. Love is the beginning and the end of the Catholic Faith. And I was taught that everything in our Faith begins and ends in the Mass. And what is holding hands if not an expression of love.

What does that have to do with holding hands during the Our Father?

It’s in the Spirit of the Mass. I believe holding hands during the Father is completely in line with the Spirit of the Mass. What is the Spirit of the Mass? Love. Love of God and love of neighbor.

For one thing, the Our Father, is a communal, petition for and expression of, love for God.

a. A simple reading of the prayer will show that this prayer assumes that the faithful person is praying in union with the entire community of believers, even when he is praying this prayer alone. OUR Father…give US….OUR daily bread….forgive US OUR…lead US not…deliver US from evil, amen!

b. Again, simply reading the prayer indicates that it is a petition for God to care for us. In this prayer, together, we recognize that we are God’s children and that we need Him to take care of us. Thus, together, as one family, we lovingly call out to Him.

c. And we express our love for Him by imitating Jesus Christ and together with Him, calling out confidently, “Abba, Father.”

For another, holding hands with one another is an expression of love for our neighbor. One of the earliest known names for the Mass was the “Agape” or “Love” feast. People rarely hold hands for an extended period with anyone except those whom they love. When praying this prayer in the company of other believers, whether in the Mass or not, it is neither unnatural nor unusual, to reach out to hold those whom we love. Therefore, holding hands with our brothers and sisters in Christ is a powerful expression of obedience to Christ’s command:

John 13:34 I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. 35 This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

In addition, holding hands is a symbol of unity. Does anyone remember the “solidarity” movement? What was their symbol? A chain of people, holding hands. This symbolized their unity. And it was recognized throughout the world, because holding hands is a powerful expression of union. And what is the Mass? The Mass is the Sacrament of Unity.

For all these reasons, I feel comfortable holding hands during the Our Father. And, I expect, most reasonable people will feel the same way. But just to bolster your confidence a bit more, let me quote the GIRM. The part that I’m about to quote is instruction on when we should stand and kneel. However, the instruction begins like this:

Movements and Posture

42. The gestures and posture of the priest, the deacon, and the ministers, as well as those of the people,ought to contribute to making the entire celebration resplendent with beauty and noble simplicity, so that the true and full meaning of the different parts of the celebration is evident and that the participation of all is fostered.[52] Therefore, attention should be paid to what is determined by this General Instruction and the traditional practice of the Roman Rite and to what serves the common spiritual good of the People of God, rather than private inclination or arbitrary choice.

A common posture, to be observed by all participants, is a sign of the unity of the members of the Christian community gathered for the sacred Liturgy: it both expresses and fosters the intention and spiritual attitude of the participants.

Let’s break this down a bit.

The first paragraph says that the gestures of the participants, be they priests or people, should contribute to the essence of the Mass. Since I believe that holding hands is a symbol of love and unity, I don’t see a more apt symbol to show forth the meaning of the Mass.

The second paragraph makes reference to “a common posture”. This is explicitly about the postures which the GIRM instructs us to have during specific parts of the Mass. Such as standing for the Gospel and kneeling for the Consecration. It is not about holding hands during the Our Father.

However, because I believe that the act of holding hands with one’s brothers and sisters in Christ is a very powerful symbol of love for and unity with them, I believe that this “common posture” which the People of God have spontaneously adopted, powerfully contributes to making the entire celebration resplendent with beauty and noble simplicity, so that the true and full meaning of that part of the Mass, is shown forth for all to see.

In conclusion, these are the reasons why I don’t fret about holding hands during the Our Father, in the Mass. If anything were wrong with that, the Church would have put an end to it, a long time ago. But, if the Church ever wants the beauty of the Our Father to be expressed by us taking a different posture, she will let us know. If that ever happens, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with holding hands. It will be because the Church has found an even more appropriate posture that we should take to enhance the beauty of that part of the Mass.