For 6 months in 2014, I had been dealing with unknown illness and even the possibility of leukemia. One day I wrote this blog, as writing is very therapeutic for my soul.
“This is what depression does. Yesterday, mentally my brain did not seem to want to work, my mood was down and who cares what I do or do not do,--and as the day progressed I played music on the computer, and as I played spider solitaire, I just felt sad. Because I felt sad, I also fed my mouth whatever was sweet and whatever was food, just as a baby wants that pacifier for comfort.
Two days ago I sent out a ‘needed to talk’ letter and two beautiful friends replied and shared and their letters gave me much joy as I realized again how because God loves, He allows life to happen, so we can be there for each other in our hours of need.
Yesterday, as I went through the day, I remembered the prayer of 'help me to love my husband as You do Lord.' As I experienced all the weakness and emotions that I did, I thought of the many years he has dealt with suffering, weakness, depression, and lack of desire to do anything. Therefore, new insight and deeper love came into my heart. So even in the depression, God answers my prayer and was gifting my spirit.
Today, I almost didn’t go to Mass but did, and the readings were tailored made for the show today. You must read them, especially the first two no all. The first, Revelation Chapter 6, was vivid vision given to John and as I listened I thought wow just what does that all mean. Which led to the theme of the show, INTERPRETATION. Just how or what do we think of all we hear, see, and experience in life and what is God trying to say to us? Don’t forget to listen to the show found --week 11-06-2014 of “Its Me God on www.radiotitans.com .
I also received the message—"What must be done, must be done." This as I thought of all that is happening in the world, of Christ’s own passion and crucifixion and the comparison of the ongoing sharing of the cross by people everywhere for the sake of another person's salvation and helping them in their pain and suffering. In order for us to CARE, we must SHARE what they are dealing with, so we can reach UNDERSTANDING, WISDOM, COMPASSION, AND to be able to LOVE as Jesus loves.
Today after Mass, after the messages and after a visit from Mary and God, I am renewed in spirit and dealing with the newest revelation that my symptoms are being triggered by my negative emotions and stress. HELLO!! So the second reading or the one from Psalms tells us to praise God, praise God, praise God and give thanks. (Psalm 105)R. (3b) Let hearts rejoice who search for the Lord.
Sing to him, sing his praise,
proclaim all his wondrous deeds.
Glory in his holy name;
rejoice, O hearts that seek the LORD!
This is my treatment to health again. Thank You again, God, for always being there in the darkest moments of our lives.