Catholic Human Sexuality

In today’s world, we are told that the Catholic Church is “outdated” because of its teachings, especially about human sexuality. It’s the world that doesn’t understand sex, not the Holy Spirit.

The world teaches sex is for personal enjoyment in whatever form that may take as long as consenting adults agree. The resulting casual sexual encounters have destroyed what it means to be human. Human sexuality was truthfully designed to be exclusive, intimate, self-giving, life-giving, love-getting, emotionally satisfying, and a full expression of marriage.

Sex in the secular world is not exclusive, and that is why so many people are brokenhearted. We are built for an exclusive relationship to fulfill our emotional needs. Jealousy is a good thing when we speak of sex. We instinctively know we are to have a partner for life. In this exclusive act, sex is self-giving in the fullest sense. For those who deny that this is how the human being is made, the result is a wounded self-image: “Why doesn’t my lover love only me? Why does he seek others? I gave him my complete self, and now he rejects me by seeking another.”

Intimacy means that someone knows you unlike anyone else knows you. James Joyce called having a sexual relationship with a spouse “our secret life.” Writers are truth seekers, and so in literature, there are hidden truths. No other person can share our life like a spouse. The betrayal of this truth is pronounced when we, as a society, practice casual sex. We lie to ourselves when we accept all forms of sexuality. Some are at a higher plane than others, and we are not animals, contrary to popular secular humanism’s view that we are. Intimacy is a must for human sexual union to reach its true purpose which is unity.

Since unity is the key to meaningful love, those who engage in relations with multiple partners become numb to real love. The falsehood of the world’s promise that freedom means do what feels good has led to a host of society’s biggest heartbreaks: abortion, infidelity, STDs, emotional distress, divorce, and the like. Free love leads to divisions.

As for the façade of “free love,” at least once upon a time people understood sex was equal to saying: “I love you.” Today that is no longer the case. Having casual sex doesn’t even say “I like you” and truthfully, the act pretty much says “I hate you.”

The old line “if you loved me you’d sleep with me” has been replaced by not even a hint of love (to further denigrate human dignity). One night stands have now become a sport for women and men alike. A long time ago the term “the walk of shame” expressed remorse for casual sexual encounters. Nowadays, its proudly pronounced in the streets that we can have sex with anybody and probably everybody. Is that good for us? Is that really satisfying?

Being as common as dogs and cats isn’t what makes us uniquely human. A lie has been told over and over again that freedom to have sex without limitations is happiness, yet we all instinctively know it’s a useless and hollow lifestyle.

When we examine sex within marriage, we understand an emotional bond is present in the fullest form through sexual union, and this bonding helps the couple through even the most difficult of life circumstances. Sex outside of marriage is always a lie because there is no vow to make a seal between the two lovers, and the act’s main purpose becomes pleasure seeking, not the giving of oneself to the other, betraying the nature of sex itself. Pleasure seeking alone leads to disappointment because we are made to want a human connection. Only through true love called marriage do we find this sort of union because God designed us to want this type of lasting love.

This leads to the life-giving element of sexual union. Love begets life by design. Sex alone has this power. It’s a power to bring life into the world. Not even the mighty angels can achieve this feat. We have given up our true inheritance by rejecting children. It seems today no one wants children. Yet, of all the joys in life, a child is what brings the most happiness to parents. When the culture began its war on children through abortion, it was in desperation because sex does indeed bring forth children. Because sex is life-giving, it must be a part of the way we look at sex as Catholics. To God, every child is a person who is destined to eternal life in heaven. Catholics accept children that result from a sexual union because the superior good of eternity is worth the sacrifices we complete on earth. Catholics see eternity in each turn life takes.

The cultural norms have eradicated the outward behavior of Catholic decentness, only to bring on inner turmoil of confusion. We seem to have everything that promises freedom and yet we are prisoners of our own trap. In order to live out a worldly sexuality our society has become cruel, unyielding, unaccepting of the truth, and evil.

How the Catholic is called to view human sexuality is a full measure of what it is to be human. Sex is designed to be self-giving, emotionally satisfying, love-getting, life-giving, exclusive and intimate. We must reacquaint ourselves with the truth that does not change, even if society rejects it. In truth, we recapture the culture because others see our joy when we practice what we preach.