Why Would Anyone In This Modern Age Even Think About Religious Life?: My Story So Far

I’ve heard this question many times, and after having discerned for several years, I’ve read many, many vocation stories. In fact, everyone has a story to tell. God writes each of us into life in His own unique way, and we’re made to live with a special purpose only we can fulfill. So, why, in this modern day and age, would anyone want to become a nun?

Perhaps having gone through vocation stories, you see similar patterns of sisters saying that they felt a peace and joy at the thought of becoming a nun, but really, each story is unique and deeply personal. Mine, for instance, is still in the making. I’m still a work-in-progress in God’s story book. He’s written in my days, but I have yet to live out my mission. In fact, I still have yet to find my mission. However, in the midst of all these things, allow me to share a little of my vocation story so far, as I like to call it.

My story started out as a deeply personal, innate sense of God’s presence as a three-year-old. That’s when I knew I wanted to become a Catholic. Growing up, I realised how what I was hearing and what I seemed to innately believe didn’t “match”. I’m one for puzzles and fixing things, so putting the pieces together in life was always part of my nature. For example, I had exposure to the consubstantiation belief in the Anglican church. It didn’t make sense to me. Transubstantiation did – Jesus said that “This is my Body…This is my Blood”, so that must be it. I found this belief true only in one place – the Roman Catholic Church. It took me many years to realise this though.

I went through rollercoasters at school, and tidal waves in college, especially as my teen years led me closer to and deeper in my relationship with God. At 13 (in 2008), I told my mother I wanted to become a Catholic. She freaked out and started saying my school was brainwashing me and the whole drama started. It lasted until last year (2016). Between those years, I had no choice but to sneak to Mass and learn the faith “underground”. I did what I could to learn as much as possible. I secretly entered the RCIA as a 17-year-old, but as the diocese didn’t ask for the paperwork until just after my 18^th birthday, I got away with being baptised and received into the Church in the Year of Faith (2013). I begged God and He granted me this wish to receive the sacraments of initiation (Matthew 7:7 – Ask and you shall receive).

Throughout my teen years, I always had a sense that there was something more to life. Something great God had planned especially for me. I also had desires I did not understand, like wanting to veil and be hidden away for God, yet work in a meaningful apostolate that would bring about God’s kingdom. I did not understand how I could be drawn to monastic life and apostolic life (and had no idea about semi-contemplative congregations then), and why I wanted to lie prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament. It was all strange to me, until it was later explained to me, and over time, I discovered my love for adoration, and contemplation, and my desire to work in outreach. I discovered my gifts for music and writing. I’ve now discovered that God has apparently used me to heal people – one elderly lady with a knee problem who couldn’t walk now can walk. She walked in front of me after I prayed over her in a healing service – but it wasn’t me, it was the Holy Spirit!

Now I’m in my final year in university. I’m doing very well in my studies, have great hopes for an awesome career, wonderful people in my life, and my family are now okay with me going to church. So, why on earth would I drop all that to even discern becoming a Religious Sister? I suppose the only answer that human terms can express in words (though it doesn’t do it justice) is to say that I could never be at peace until I at least gave it a good go. No matter what, the thought of becoming a Religious has given me joy and a peace, and has never left me since I started thinking of Religious Life at 15 years old. I’ve had exposure before, and was a Candidate in a congregation as an 18-19 year old, but then decided not to discern further with them for personal reasons. Sometimes life changes, and if you want to make God laugh, tell Him all your plans. I just don’t believe God would give me the desire to give myself wholly to Him and serve Him in the community, as a community, in prayer and penance, and in an apostolate, if He were not to grant it to me. Yes, I may have to be patient, and I do need time, but somehow, I do have the sense that He’s not a cruel God, but a most merciful and loving God, to whom I desire to submit my whole will and life to. He knows best, and I trust He will lead and guide me, and every time, He has led me to this path. I know our God does not lead us on a wrong path, but as long as we listen, and follow exactly as we’re told, we could never go wrong. So, although I cannot tell you everything (it would take too long), in a nutshell, it boils down to this…

1 Samuel 3:10 Speak Lord, your servant is listening… Here I am, I come to do your will…

So, ask yourself, what do you seek and what do you desire? I seek to pray – for people and with people, to save souls and win souls for God, and I desire to give myself wholly to Him who loves me so tenderly and dearly that He died for me, and now calls me to life with Him. I desire to use my gifts for the glory of God, to help, even if only in a little way, to mend the brokenness of the world. Thus, I’m walking the path that He is leading me on, wherever it leads, and though trials and temptations get tougher as I journey, God has blessed me with beautiful souls to guide me and help me along the way, for which I am deeply grateful. So, as I pray for your journey, I ask you also to pray for mine.

The next time anyone asks you why anyone would become a nun, or you wonder, then just think of the story of the lives given to God, of your sisters in Christ, but also of yourself, and ask, what do you seek, and what do you desire? Ask God where He wants you. For He knows the plans He has for you, plans for good, and to prosper… (Jeremiah 29:11). Let all be done in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Remember, all can only be answered on a personal level, since God writes each story unique – He’s ultimately creative and never repeats the same life twice!  You are chosen, you are blest, you are a sign of God’s love. Live it out, brothers and sisters. God bless you.