Has anyone besides me ever read a line from John Chapter 5 and questioned the ‘question’ Jesus asked the man at the Pool of Bethsaida? “Do You Want to be Well?” Jesus asks a man crippled for 38 years. “Do you want to be well?” Duh, crippled for 38 years and He asks ‘do you want to be well?’
But that is us, isn’t it? “Do we WANT to be WELL?” We are crippled in many ways and stay in that state of life, even though we claim we want to be well. And the man does what we all do, he gives the excuse “nobody will help me!”
We think, that we are where we are, in the state we are in because somebody else is at fault. Come on admit it. Somewhere inside, as inner healing comes in, more and more, we remember who said what, who did what and when they did it how hurtful it was to us and how we are left crippled emotionally and yes physically. When we have unforgiveness, buried anger, bitterness and resentment within--it makes us physically sick and emotionally a mess.
In the past three weeks our school at the Mercy of God Prayer Center has been focusing on burdens, surrendering, and now, ‘death to self’—and if you want the teachings to do the job they are supposed to do, you give God permission to open up the memory door and take you to the root of some behavior problem you have. For me, God took me to the root of eating behavior and worse yet—flying off the handle and getting angry over ‘stuff.’
Just now, there was a really big eruption of anger, over milk being left out by grandson who is staying with us. I go so mad it hurt inside my gut. As soon as that happened, I KNEW what God was up to. I had just gone to confession about a flare up yesterday that was angrier than usual. I knew that God really wanted me to experience and know that anger does to my spirit. For, until we admit the truth, we stay in denial and crippled.
Then last night He really added more wisdom with a dream about someone dying and the family immediately sorting and getting rid of stuff with some hidden banker selling it off for them. On waking I wondered who, what this was all about, for the details, and length left the dream embedded on my mind. Then after I blew up about the milk, this dream’s interpretation and meaning was loud and clear. You are killing yourself about stuff, material and emotional stuff!!!! You are spiritually dead because of how important your ‘stuff’ is. Your home and processions and most importantly, how you are treated and recognized as being a person of worth, accepted and praised. This recognition is so important to us we let them control us.
Are you seeing the connection? We get hurt, angry, and bitter when we are mistreated, not appreciated, recognized and unjustly misunderstood. Then we hold on to this, stew on it, chew on it and store it for more ammunition when needed for a good fight in the future. “Just you wait Henry Higgins!!!!”
Well folks-- DO YOU WANT TO BE WELL? Rise, take up your mat/life, and walk into wellness, by letting go of what you feel is so important that you will get angry if it is touched or moved. Remember the scripture that confused us all—if a man sins because of his arm, leg, eye etc then cut if off? Well this is what that scripture was all about. If we sin because of some possession, or emotional knowledge/baggage we are holding onto—let go of it, get connected spiritually with God’s grace and peace. Seek ye first, seek ye wisdom, seek ye the Lord—now is the time of your salvation. Serve ye the Lord, or be spiritually dead, because of that self-centered, controlling life. Let the fireworks begin, give God permission to reveal the truth within, and ask for the grace to admit to this truth so He can set you free!