What You Will Regret Most in Purgatory

So what happens when we die?

We know that when we die we will meet Jesus and be judged by the Lord. It will be a perfect judgment, perfectly balancing the demands of justice with God’s infinite mercy. As Catholics, we know that as a result of this judgment we will have one of three “destinations”. We will go to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory.

But what happens in the moment before you are judged? What happens in the instant after you meet Jesus but before you know your eternal fate?

At that moment we will be enlightened. At that moment we will have all the events of our entire lives present to our memory. We will recall everything we have ever done, said, and thought. We will know how everything we have ever done, good and bad, affected the other people in our lives. We will know the extent of the harm we’ve done and the effect of the good deeds in others’ lives and in the larger world. This must be the case because to be judged without knowing the basis of the judgment would render the judgment seemingly arbitrary. No one is going to be standing in front of Jesus wondering why or on what basis the Lord renders his judgment.

Now, for souls that are going straight to Heaven or straight to Hell their judgment will be “easy” (relatively speaking). The souls that are going straight to heaven, the ones that purged themselves of all attachment to sin during their lives, that had lived a faithful life, and died in a state of grace will be met by Jesus saying simply, “Well done my good and faithful servant”. The soul that is going to hell will be repulsed by the very encounter with Jesus and desire to flee. The Lord, who loves all souls, even the ones that reject him, will not cause the damned soul to linger long but rather Jesus will grant this last request of the soul’s free will and it will go quickly to hell. (If you think you might be on that end of the spectrum than take the time to make yourself right with the Lord, it only takes a moment to pray for grace, repent and seek to reestablish communion).

However, most of us will fall somewhere in the middle. We will be good but still attached to some sins of the world. Maybe we died still a little too quick to anger, or with lust in our hearts, or gluttonous for food or drink. Or maybe we died with some sin left unrepaired, like a fight with a sibling or having stolen something and not made amends. We will be destined for Purgatory, where these last imperfections will be burned away.

Contrary to popular myth we don’t know exactly what Purgatory is like. We don’t know if it’s a distinct third “place” and we don’t know if it takes time. Pope Emeritus Benedict described Purgatory as our encounter with the Lord, where we realize our sins and regret them immensely, and I think this makes the most sense. Think about what that moment will be like, when you encounter the Lord and recall everything you ever did, said, and thought and know the consequences of each thing. Have you ever been caught by a loved one or a superior when you were doing some wrong? That wave of guilt that overtakes you, that immediate feeling of regret and remorse, the immediate desire to make amends. Imagine that perfected times infinity. Imagine meeting Jesus, instantly knowing the full weight of your sins and feeling regret for all of them big and small.

Here’s the thing, you won’t regret those bad things that you did as much as your will regret your sins of omission, the good things that you could have done and didn’t. Think about it … while you were alive you already regretted the bad things you had done. If you hadn’t, if you had no remorse for you sins when you died, you would be on the proverbial down escalator. The really bad things you did in your life you would have already at least partially repented from in life. Maybe you even went to Confession for them and they are completely “forgotten” by the Lord. You won’t need to leave those things behind in Purgatory.

No, when you stand before Jesus and you have perfect recall just before your judgment, what you will remember and regret the most are the good things you could have done and failed to do. You’ll regret those the most because you will have probably never repented of them. You will know what great good they would have meant and the joy in heaven that would have resulted. Remember when the Catholic radio station had a pledge drive and you didn’t donate? You’ll regret that. Remember when the Boy Scouts had a coat drive and you were too busy to drive ten minutes out of your way to drop off your old coats. You’ll regret that. Remember the priest from Hatti who begged for money in the second collection to feed hungry kids and you held back from donating. You’ll regret that. Remember that day picking up a sandwich for lunch and walking back to the office and seeing that homeless person and thinking about giving him the sandwich but you didn’t want to be late or have to go back and buy another one so you just kept walking? I’ve done that, that’s what I will regret.

Now, of all the good things that you can and should do but don’t, what will you regret the most? Or stated another way, of all the good things you could do, but don’t, which of them is the greatest?
The one thing you really should have done? The answer is easy. Of all the good things that you could do but don’t the greatest of them is going to Mass. In heaven, when you are judged, the greatest regret you will have is every Mass, especially Sunday Mass, that you could have gone to but didn’t.

Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God as yourself. There is no greater way to show love for the Lord than to come to his house for supper, for the meal he has prepared for you since before time, to the meal he gave his life to prepare. At the last supper, Jesus said to the Apostles, “I have LONGED to eat this Passover with you.” God longs to eat this supper with you. He died for it and he gives his very body and blood as the meal. Should you blow it off to watch football?

The second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor. What better way is there to love your neighbor than to sit with them at Mass? What better way is there to love your neighbor than to pray for the conversion (or reversion) of the lost? What better way is there to love your neighbor than to pray for the sick and dying? What better way is there to love your neighbor than to support the community financially and learn about the ministries in which you could help in other ways?

At Mass, the veil between heaven and earth is made thinner. At Mass, we participate in the worship of heaven and sing songs with the choirs of angels. In the Eucharist, our union with the Lord is made more perfect and our soul is prepared for the day of our death when we stand before the Lord in judgment. So the next time you’re debating about whether to go to Mass on Sunday (or any day) does it really matter if you miss the first quarter or arrive a half hour later for the barbeque? Remember, God, longs to eat this meal with you. Go and you won’t regret it later.