The courage to get out of the boat

Peter had a choice to make once. He was on the boat, asleep, and he woke up to see Jesus walking on the water. The Apostles were so afraid. But not Peter. He said, "Lord, if it is you, then call out to me to come to you on the water." And Jesus called him. So Peter went. He stepped out of the boat into a raging storm and did the impossible--he walked on the water. But then he saw the storm, and he was afraid. And he begun to sink. So he cried out, "Lord, save me!" And Jesus grabbed his hand and pulled him to safety and asked, "Oh ye, of little faith. Why did you doubt?"

This is one of my very favorite stories. I know that Jesus has asked me this question countless times. I've heard it in my heart, over and over, "Lisa, why did you doubt?" But the difference between Peter and me is that he practically leapt out of the boat and ran to Jesus across the water. All my life... I've been waiting in the boat, wanting to leave it but being too afraid, not yet understanding how to live courageously for God. But every day, more and more... I'm starting to understand what it means.

We all strive to live without regrets. And one of my biggest ones is not trusting God enough. The reason I didn't trust God is rather ridiculous. Somehow, I thought that trusting God would mean that more bad things could happen. So if I did't trust Him, then that would somehow stop bad things from happening. And whenever something bad did happen, I'd ask Him, "Why are you doing this to me?" As if a God who loves us so much that He suffered and died on a Cross would ever try to hurt us. But my faith was weak then.

It's only now that I understand that the old saying, "God never gives us more than we can handle," just isn't true. In truth, God helps us handle what we are given. When I tried to do it on my own, I was so anxious, stressed out and miserable. I felt like everything depended on me. I had to protect myself. I had to be in control. I look back on it now and laugh. Because the only thing I have control over, the only thing that any of us has control over... are our choices.

So I've made the choice to trust God.

I'll be honest with you. Trusting God doesn't mean that I suddenly understand why bad things happen. I don't know why Jesus doesn't just make the world perfect, why we have to suffer. I've read the theology, and my brain understands the logic of it, at least as much as I'm capable. But then when I see the suffering going on in the world, when I feel powerless to stop it... my heart aches. And yet I have hope because while I don't know the reason that we suffer... I do know this: it's not because Jesus doesn't love us. 

And the truth of life is this: whether we trust God or not, bad things are going to happen. After all, Jesus Himself was not even exempt from suffering. And that leaves us with two choices: get through our suffering with Him... or without Him. This realization has been monumental for me. It's given me the courage to take that first step out of the boat. I may not have walked across the water yet... but there is nothing I want more. I know that I'm not alone in that. And when I start to sink--when any of us start to sink--Jesus will be there to save us.

Today, I gently challenge you... as I do myself every day: When you look back on your life... don't you want to be able to say you had the courage to get out of the boat?