Gentleness

A stone tossed into a heap of wool doesn’t rebound, says the proverb. Likewise, an angry remark won’t rebound from a gentle soul who absorbs abuse without retaliation. Experience supports the classic axiom: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prv 15:1). That is one of countless ways that Paul’s basic principle is to be implemented: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom 12:21). This does not preclude presenting a strong defense of the good, says Peter: “Always be ready to make your defense . . . yet do it with gentleness and reverence” (1 Pt 3:16, emphasis mine).

Meekness, however, is not weakness. Gentleness does not exclude righteous anger or a forceful response to the evil that is to be overcome. The meek and gentle Jesus, in his triumphal palm-strewn entry into the city, fulfilled Zechariah’s prophecy as one coming as “gentle, riding on a donkey” (Zec 9:9); but this was the same Jesus who, hours later, irately cast the moneychangers from the temple (see Mt 21). While we forcefully confront sin, we must still love the sinner, avers St. Augustine.

Paul was often disappointed with the Corinthians, but he confronted them in the pattern of “the meekness and gentleness of Christ” (2 Cor 10:1, emphasis mine), and urged them to likewise bear with one another “with all humility and gentleness . . . in love” (Eph 4:2, emphasis mine). To the Philippians he urged, “Let your gentleness be known to everyone” (Phil 4:5). He reiterated his plea with the Colossians: “As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, gentleness and patience” (Col 3:12, emphasis mine). The theme was so prominent in his preaching that he challenged even his disciple, Timothy, to “pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness” (1 Tm 6:11), “correcting opponents with gentleness” (2 Tm 2:25). To Titus he said, “Be gentle, and show courtesy to everyone” (Ti 3:2).

I think it was the gentle St. Francis de Sales who said, “You can catch more flies with a spoonful of honey than with a barrel of vinegar.” Paul, in his guidance of the unruly Corinthians, presented them with similar alternatives: “What would you prefer? Am I to come to you with a stick, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?” (1 Cor 4:21).

Gentleness is a virtue that is not easy to attain or to maintain. Perhaps that is why it is a “fruit of the Spirit” (Gal 5:23)--God’s way of supporting human behavioral response in the uphill struggle of character building. The Almighty definitely intervened in defense of Esther: “God changed the spirit of the king to gentleness” (Est 15:8). Paul recognized the need for Spirit-power to nurture gentleness when he suggested that mature, Spirit-filled people with this virtue are the best ones to tackle the task of reproving delinquent persons: “My friends, if anyone is detected in a transgression, you who have received the Spirit should restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness” (Gal 6:1, emphasis mine). James, too, suggests the Holy Spirit’s role in this; he avows, “Works done with gentleness [are] born of wisdom; and wisdom from above . . . is gentle” (James 3:13-17, emphasis mine).

Precisely because it is difficult to be gentle consistently, we need to trust in the gentle Jesus in order to draw from his gentle Father the strength of his gentle Spirit upon us. If we trust ourselves to be heroically gentle, without really trusting the Lord to share his divine gentleness with us, then we must prepare to experience a disheartening and demoralizing failure!

This excerpt is from the book Pathways of Trust, by John H. Hampsch,C.M.F., originally published by Servant Publications. It and other of Fr. Hampsch's books and audio/visual materials can be purchased from Claretian Teaching Ministry, 20610 Manhattan Pl, #120, Torrance, CA 90501-1863. Phone 1-310-782-6408.