Growing In Faith..... and oh so much more!

One day as I was perusing through an old art drawer I came across a journal with the Footprints prayer written on it.  As I look at it I remembered how I acquired this. It was when the Christian child care center that I supervised for 7 years closed.  It seems so long ago now. Inside this journal it said, “One door closes but another one opens” I felt that it was the saddest day of my life but looking back I see it in a different light.

Within this journal were happy memories along with some that were sad and ominous. Being a Director of a Christian Childcare was the joy of my life.  I did not see my job as a paycheck.   I saw it as a mission of leading others to Christ.  On the first day we opened we had only 3 children present but the pastor of the church reassured me that in God’s time He would bless us with a bounty of children. Here I was a Catholic woman hired to be a Director of a Christian childcare operated by a Lutheran Church. Although there be differences in church canon there were many similarities.

I found that teaching in a Christian Childcare to be my calling. It was with great joy in my heart that we were able to provide children with a nurturing, loving, Christian environment that facilitated their spiritual and cognitive growth.  The Pastors was very ecumenical and freely shared their faith with all of us and we focused positively on the attributes that were common to both faiths. We shared many socials together such as Lenten Soup and Salad nights, Christmas Nativity, All Saints Day and the like. We shared our gifts and had many faith filled experiences.  

In the fall of the same year we had 24 preschoolers and, in the spring, opened a school aged program that served children K-5th grade from nearby public school and a Catholic School. All in all, in the 7 years that it operated we served over 500 families and about 675 children of all different faiths. Each day was filled with messages of God’s love, prayers and the building up of body, mind and spirit.  One day a young 4-year-old came running into the school yelling enthusiastically, ‘Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Smith, my mom done got saved at church yesterday”. The look of joy on his face was awe inspiring.  His mother was not receptive to joining us for special events especially when they related to religion.  She allowed her son to go to Sunday School and church with his grandma.  During prayer time  this boy always prayed that his mommy would come to know Christ and one day his prayers were answered.  

The two previous pastors were holy men that were ecumenical men of the cloth.  We focused on the similarities not the difference of the faiths..They taught us about Object Lessons and I taught them about petitions. I felt very welcomed during these six years working with these fine men of God. Both were led by the Holy Spirit and filled us with the joy of the love of Christ. I found joy in everything I experienced when I was with them.

During my 6th year,  darkness fell upon me as the two pastors retired and a new pastor replaced them. I had never faced adversity and persecution in my life for being Catholic.  I had grown in my faith through working with my Lutheran brothers and sisters in Christ and now my faith, my religion became a target. When he arrived, he professed to be “an indoctrinated Missouri Synod Lutheran who was not the least bit ecumenical and my goal is to make this a Lutheran Childcare with Lutheran doctrine taught by Synodical trained Lutherans.”  I slowly came to realize that he had a profound disdain for Catholics.  

He challenged me a lot, questioned my belief on Mary, ever virgin and chastised me for playing Ave Maria in the classroom reiterating that she is not to be adored and that she is sinner just like me and was just the vessel for Christ to be born.  I could not believe what I heard.  I thought, this is a man of the cloth who believes Mary is a sinner!  So, I asked him, “Was Jesus not perfect, human and Divine?  He said, ‘Of course, why do you ask?’  I replied, “If Jesus was born perfect he could not be born out of woman who had sin, as perfection can not come about through imperfection.”  He turned and walked away.  

One day he came to me to ask if I would be attending Reformation Sunday services and made a point to tell me that it was required.  Of course, I attended because I could go to Saturday vigil.  When I arrived,  I was shocked to see my office door on the stage that was being used for a prop for his reenactment of Luther’s posting of the 95 theses against the Catholic Church.  When I saw him dressed as a priest pounding on it, I walked away and cried.

Here I finally realized that the adversity was the evil one in the disguise of a man of the cloth.  My first thought was, “Woe is me” as things seemed to become dim, but the light of Christ shines within.  I came back to work day by day despite it becoming harder as I continued to face more trials from him.  As I began each day I prayed…. “Therefore, I go by the Grace of God alone”

Soon I found within a deep abyss of darkness that emulated behind the guise of lies and deceit.  I had confided in the Pastor a private family matter and came to find out that he shared this information among the board of directors and the church elders.  Truly my confidence was betrayed, and my life would never be the same.  I knew that this was a prime example of Spiritual Warfare and through all this chaos my faith continued to stand firm in its foundation.  Attacks continued so I learned to take one day at a time with God’s grace because this was the only way I could move on.  Perhaps my misfortune was not mine but his.  This was a test of my faith as well as a testament of my faith.  

My heart wanted to speak out against what this man had said but I humbled myself and prayed over it for days.  I came to realize that his reaction to me could be seen in three different perspectives.

1. A recognition that others misfortune could be one’s own, if it weren’t for blessings of the Divine or one’s luck.
2. Humankind’s fate is in God’s hands.
3. Our fate is not entirely in our hands.  

These words are an expression of humility.  In using it I could acknowledge that outside factors, such as God’s grace, has played a role of success in life despite facing adversity.  It was a reassuring reliance on God’s grace rather than our own morality.  Of course, while this was happening I knew my fate was not in my hands but His.

Through continued lies and deceitful actions I was informed by my husband who happened to schedule basketball referees in the Lutheran schools that the beloved child care that I administered for 7 years was going to close.  I had not been spoken to in any manner. Despite feeling the painful loss of something that was so precious to me, I came to understand that I had been blessed to come to know so many Christian brothers and sisters in Christ as well as teaching God’s children for 7 years.

When I announced that our beloved Christian Child Care Center would be closing there were many teary eyes and sadness in our hearts.   A first grader came up to me crying and said, “You taught me to always keep Jesus in my heart here.  Will I lose Him when I leave this daycare?” “Of course not,” I told him that “He is with us always in our hearts and everywhere we go.”  He gave me a big hug and wiped his eyes while saying, “Yes I can take him everywhere with me, but I found him here first” I think of this young boy often with his small voice calling out to me and am reminded how Christ called out to us to say, ‘Forgive them for they do” and now I understand.