True love has an indescribable beauty. Overcomes all suffering and is capable of accomplishing the deepest longings of our soul. Do we really know this kind of love? Have we experienced it? Is it possible to live it in our society that is so individualistic and utilitarian?
YES, IT IS POSSIBLE! And more, we all should experience and live the beauty of true human love, because that is what we are called for! Besides, we need to proclaim to all this beauty, this treasure that is available to who wants and is willing to fight for it.
I´d like to emphasize today the four characteristics of conjugal love, according to the wise teachings of our dear Saint John Paul II in his Theology of the Body. He reveals that true love is free, faithful, total and fruitful. The lack of one of those characteristics may reveal another feeling, but it is not love.
Free means that a person can only love if she freely chose to love. Love can not be imposed, can not be demanded. It can’t be conditional: “I love you if you love me” or “I love you if you do this or that.”
Love demands faithfulness, the give of self to only one person for all your life. It is not moralism or chauvinism (I once heard that fidelity was “invented” by men to assure that they would know who their children were!!); it is a matter of logic. To know a person takes time; to know how to make her happy also takes time. It demands dedication and a lot of energy. How can one love a person, want to give oneself to her, but at the same time look for another person? Faithfulness is in the depth of our being: nobody wants to be just one more in the life of the other. We want to be the one.
Love must be total, complete. If we don’t give ourselves fully, with all we are and have, we are not loving. We can’t say, “I love you only with my body; my mind is only mine. It doesn’t belong to you” or “I will love you for only two years, three months and five days,” or even “I can give you my affection, but I’m not willing to share my possessions, my ideas, my future.” It sounds ridiculous!
Of course that the individuality remains, when I love, I continue being myself, but I am willing to give all my being to the one I love, for his own good, for his happiness. I am willing to be a better person, to seek to correct my mistakes, all for the good of the other.
In the end, true love is fruitful, generates life. Love desires to multiply. It is very powerful and very big to remain only between two people. This is so wonderful that a new human is generated by concret act of love. The form that we are called to existence is throght the celebration of love from our parents!
If what I just said makes sense to you, if you agree that to be love it is necessary to be free, faithful, total and fruitful, then seek to put this in practice! If this makes sense, therefore it is not possible to accept abortion: that would be to kill the fruit of love itself! Contraception also cannot be accepted, because it implies that I am giving to the other everything except my fertility. Premarital sexual relationships also do not represent true love, because a couple in this situation did not promise fidelity for all their life yet.
Every time that we act in opposition to these characteristics of true love, we end up killing love. Unfortunately, this is what we witness every single day in our society. We need to propagate this truth so as not to be deceived by culture of pleasure that surrounds us and also to help other people to identify their feelings and to fight for a true love.