The past is gone; our Future is Now!

An old problem that continues to exist; when we confess our sins but won’t forgive ourselves.  When I ministered to women in early recovery, their one decry was, “I know God has forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself.”   Over and over the pronouncement of retaining guilt for something that has been overturned within each life seems to become a nuance that hangs on like a leech.  It has the energy to suck the very essence of freedom from us in a way that resembles the blood a leech tries to suck out of our bodies.

Remember the story of a woman who told her priest that she speaks with God.  The priest, being a little skeptical, suggested she ask God what his last confession was.  She did so and upon her return the priest asked her what God said.  He (God) said he didn’t remember.  Indeed, when we confess to God, He not only forgives but also wipes away any semblance of memory.  So much for an open book where God balances our morality like a bank account.  Even if that were possible, we would always be in the red.  

I like to use the analogy that our sins are like a drop of water, standing at the shore on the ocean which is God’s endless mercy.  We jump into the mighty ocean of forgiveness to be absorbed quickly and completely, never to be seen again.

A father tosses a small child into the air, always catching the little one as they both laugh and giggle.  Do it again daddy, the child will say, please do it again.  How much trust this child exhibits knowing her father will never drop her, arms always wide open as a security net, always sure her father is there to protect and never let go.  Why then can’t we, now grown older, trust that our Father will always be there, open arms, and a security net to keep us from falling and bruising our limbs.  Another old story of a man who slips off the hill and as he tumbles down grabs hold of a large tree root.  He begins to yell; help me.  A voice below says let go and I’ll catch you.  Who are you, the man yells back.  I’m God, let go; I’ll catch you.  Is there anyone else down there?

Sometimes, as we might sit and ponder the faults we recently committed find ourselves like that man asking who are you; and when the Lord says I am here, why do you fear?  Let go and let God who eagerly awaits for us to release that grip and continue to hold on to sin and doubts of being forgiven.  God is that person who hungers for our sins; hungers to have us return like the Prodigal son without the scourge of anger or punishment.  He will place sandals on our feet, put a ring on our finger, and kill the fatted calf because he has us back in good health.  We were lost and dead and He has found us alive and well.  His son was lost in the past, and his future is in the presence.

Is it any wonder that we feel lost in a world that no longer prays until some devastating tragedy occurs and maybe there is some truth that God really does exist.  Reaching out at a time like that is not testing God, because perhaps He allows us to sink a little in the mire of confusion which leaves us no choice to ask for help.  The prodigal son didn’t look for help until even the farmer only allowed him to eat the slop the pigs ate.  There must be something better than this, he probably thought.  It might appear like a solution most people would not want to face, but when all seems like everything is lost, God will always be there.  And God will welcome us back no matter how much we may stink.  His love goes beyond the attractiveness of human boundaries.  He loves no matter what!  Our future is now without the past that we try to hold on to.  Let go and let God.